Hey hey, I’m Denis Merkas and this is another “Melt” couples massage tip… #12! This tip is a good one, are you ready? I’ve been teaching couples how to massage for a decade now. 10,000+ couples have attended my live courses, downloaded my videos and read my ebooks too… applying massage oil correctly is something that I see couples get wrong, and often too.
Hey, I’ve even seen professional massage practitioners struggle with this, they rush through the strokes likes its a race, and hands move around like they’re the spin cycle of a washing machine.
Without structure your massage will feel amateurish at best.
I want your hands to feel refined and purposeful. I want your hands to be confident… I want your partner to anticipate themselves melting the second your back rub begins.
First Impressions Count…
First impressions really do count. The better your back rub is at the very beginning, the quicker your partner will turn to putty and melt in your hands. Sound good? Let me show you how its done properly.
Win them over in the first 30 seconds and I promise you the rest of your back rub will unfold to be an experience they’ll brag about to their friends.
Let’s start with what not to do. Here’s a few ways people are screwing up their massage oil application. Don’t do these things! Watch the video and I’ll explain it all, or read the wrap-up below for the summary.
Things to know before you learn how to apply massage oil
What you definitely should do
Begin with warm hands… it’s a no brainer, right? There’s nothing quite like being touched with warm hands. And at any rate, it’s better than cold ones!
Mold your hands to your partner’s body. This is an important one: keep your palms down and fingertips down and think about exploring your partner’s curves, follow the shape of their body. This alone is the single most important take away you should take from this article. It’s an instant game changer. I have another video that demonstrates how to do this perfectly – check it out below.
Be confident. Be present.
Follow a routine – when I graduated from Massage School (a spring chicken of only 21 years old – so long ago that my cell phone could only make phone calls, and you could only text with people on the same network!) I followed the same massage routine my teacher and I mapped out on paper, until I was comfortable enough to create and style my own techniques. This is the same advice I give when presenting at Massage Schools – follow a routine until your hands become confident. If you want routine, sign up to the free 5-day mini course below and I’ll show you step-by-step how to apply massage oil the right way.
What you should absolutely not do
Don’t drip oil onto their body from above – cold oil on warm skin feels terrible and is amateurish.
Don’t heat up the oil bottle in a microwave! That’s a trip to the hospital waiting to happen, and yes it’s a true story a couple told me about it during a workshop.
Don’t rush the massage, no one likes being massaged like they’re in the spin cycle of a washing machine.
Lots More Tips – right here…
We’re experts in teaching couples how to give amazing back rubs! Over 10,000 couples taught. Want to learn more? Click here to get our favourite tips for free:
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https://couplesmassagecourses.com/wp-content/uploads/your-guide-to-massage-oils.jpg3601030Denis Merkashttps://couplesmassagecourses.com/wp-content/uploads/melt-logo-192.pngDenis Merkas2015-04-03 07:21:002018-05-14 17:43:50How to Apply Massage Oil: The Sexy Way
Here’s an adorable way to turn your massage into a mystery treasure hunt that will build anticipation and keep your sweetie guessing all day long.
We’ve had these punny, punny printables designed especially to help you in gifting Melt – or in just gifting a massage to your partner, no matter how long you’ve had Melt for!
You’re welcome to download them for free so you can hide them around in a little hide and seek treasure hunt as cute clues for the massage you’re going to give your partner tonight.
As you can see, each little card has a massage pun hidden in it. While a single card won’t make much sense to your partner on its own, as they discover and collect them throughout the day their Sherlock powers of deduction may see how this is all leading to one hot massage for them later that night!
This is a perfect romantic gesture for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day or just because you want to thrill your sweetie and make them smile for no reason at all.
Here’s how it works.
Download our adorable Melt Massage Pun Printables for free right here
Have them printed in color either at home or at your local print store. We also recommend having them laminated for an extra-professional effect. You can laminate the entire sheet all at once!
Cut each card out individually. They work best if you leave a bit of a white border around them, that way you don’t have to cut too perfectly but they’ll still look great. Don’t worry, the laminate will hold!
Hide them! Tuck them around where your partner will find them throughout the day. In their empty coffee mug, stuck to the bathroom mirror, slipped into a wallet, placed on the dashboard of their car… Leave them where they will be periodically discovered throughout the day. And save a couple that will be found toward the end of the day, perhaps alongside a hand towel, a scented candle and a finally a bottle of massage oil for the ultimate clue –they’re getting a massage!
When it’s time for the massage, have everything ready as per usual and indulge your partner with some pampering rubs using our Melt: Massage for Couples video tutorials. If you can’t get a massage in on the day of the gift, simply present them with one of our free downloadable massage gift vouchers – it will draw out the suspense even further!
This is the perfect example of taking a simple, loving gesture like giving a massage and going above and beyond to turn it into an exciting experience that draws out a full day of anticipation and excitement for your sweetie. Best of all, it costs practically nothing to pull it off!
How did we come up with this idea? A few Valentine’s Days ago, we were pretty strapped for cash and I was searching for a really low-cost way to let Den know I was thinking of him, even if we couldn’t lash out on an expensive dinner or dozens of roses. I stumbled across some cute printables online and set about doing just this with them – he loved it! He’s kept them ever since and he still smiles when he sees one of them stuck up in his office.
https://couplesmassagecourses.com/wp-content/uploads/melt-printables-header.jpg3601030Couples Massage Courseshttps://couplesmassagecourses.com/wp-content/uploads/melt-logo-192.pngCouples Massage Courses2015-03-17 13:33:272018-05-14 17:43:51This Will Be Really Special For Your Sweetie
I know, it seems improbable that two people can make a living off teaching massage to couples, but that’s our full time work now. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
But we don’t think of it as ‘just massage’ (as a lot of people like to call it).
For us, it actually stretches much farther than that. It means so much more.
Denis and I have worked with couples, in all different capacities, for most of our collective careers now.
Before Melt, we conducted live massage seminars every month as a side business for eight years.
We created a website full of date ideas and relationship advice for couples. I had a national relationships and dating column in a newspaper for three years. We have both written and researched pages and pages of content on the subjects of love and relationships over the years.
Being a couple ourselves (for a decade now!), and knowing the sheer intensity of what goes into sustaining a happy, healthy relationship, we have long been drawn to the idea of helping couples do this.
Den and I are not high-level academics. We don’t have PhDs in psychology and we aren’t science-based research experts.
So, we use the talents we have not to help create groundbreaking studies or counsel marriages back from the brink of divorce, but to help decipher some of the better information out there and – here’s the part that is really important to us – use that research to come up with some practical, helpful tools couples could actually put to use in their everyday lives, to help them take advantage of and put into practice relationship findings from some of the greatest minds in the field of love.
Take $30 Date Night, our date ideas website. It was originally based on research from Arthur P. Aron of the University of Stonybrook in New York.
Aron found that novelty plays an important part in satisfaction levels of couples, and he recommended a regular date night doing new things each time to keep the flames alive.
We thought that sounded like a great idea, so we rallied. We came up with a huge collection of hundreds of date ideas – easy, fun, novel, cheap dates that couples could access when they wanted a boost for their relationship. Practical stuff. Useful stuff.
It worked for us, so we wanted to share it. We put it on the Internet. And we were rapt when we saw it working for other people too.
$30 Date Night provided a small, practical but not to be underestimated solution for an everyday relationship issue – How to get closer. How to stay connected. How to make time for one another in a busy world.
We look at Melt much in the same way, an extension of the same work.
So it’s not “just massage” that we offer couples. We believe it runs way deeper than that. Massage offers a path to deeper intimacy, stronger trust and a more satisfying relationship.
Being able to massage your partner is a kind, generous act that speaks to every Love Language and shows how much you care.
Den and I see our chance at being able to offer that to couples as one of our most important projects to date. Backed by research. And it’s making a difference – a real difference – to people’s lives all over the globe, one couple at a time.
Romance is one of those things we all wish we had a little more of in our lives. Often, we make the mistake of thinking that romantic gestures need to be big, grand, sweeping statements bursting with red roses and violins. They don’t. Incorporate some romance into your lives with these simple romantic ideas that will make your lover swoon.
Here are 5 simple romantic ideas that will make your relationship better instantly:
1. Give a back rub
It’s no secret that at Melt, we think back rubs are the bomb. A recent study entitled The Normal Bar found that there was one surprising thing ‘extremely happy’ couples had in common – 74% of them gave each other back massages! Yes, even we were pleasantly surprised by these findings!
As it turns out, the kind of attention you lavish on each other during a back rub can be a crucial ingredient for a fantastic relationship. Get more massages from your partner by learning how to rub them the right way. The more massages, the happier the couple. It’s practically guaranteed.
Massage increases your intimacy and trust, is a fantastic way to get closer together and show your partner some appreciation and you can make it a very romantic evening or just a bit of chilled out fun, depending on how you play it!
2. Plan an impromptu getaway
This is super important. It doesn’t have to be the holiday of a lifetime. Plan ahead and aim for a relaxed, romantic weekend getaway. Budget, say, $300. If you start now and put away $25 per week, you’ll be set to go in just a few months’ time!
Do the fun work now of deciding where you’d like to escape to with your sweetie. A city getaway in a nice hotel room? A remote log cabin in the woods? A beachside B&B? Pick somewhere that excites you both, so you have something to look forward to.
If you know your partner well and you think you can nail it without their input, keeping something like this a surprise is another way to make a big impact that they’ll love! Give them some anticipation by dropping hints a few weeks out and teasing them with information. They’ll be blown away.
3. Organise a clever date night
Something magical happens when you try new experiences together. It reignites the same chemistry as when you first started dating. And the feeling is even more heightened when there’s an element of anticipation, exploration, learning, fascination or achievement. When it comes to a date night, try organising something unusual and completely out of character for the two of you.
For something completely different try one of these date ideas:
Geocaching: This is like a global treasure hunt! Once you initiate yourself into the geocaching club, you’ll realise that there are caches hidden everywhere and you probably walk past a bunch of them every day! https://www.geocaching.com/play
Life Drawing: There are two takes on this saucy date idea. First, you could find a local Life Drawing session nearby you and pick up some sketch pads and pencils on your way there. Den and I did this one night in Sydney on the spur of the moment when we had some time to kill before a flight home and it was great. Our artistic skills leave a lot to be desired, but that didn’t stop us having an amazing date night with it. The second take is to be the model for each other at home! Take a look online at some basic life drawing tutorials and pick up any tips you can, then take some time at home to sketch each other over a platter of food and perhaps some wine.
Drive In for the New Millennium: Your own private outdoor cinema! Load up a movie to your laptop or tablet and set yourselves up outside after dark with a picnic blanket, large pillows and a host of snacks. Set everything up while your partner isn’t looking and surprise them with your little backyard makeover. Pick a movie you know they’ll love and relax together under the stars.
Once you’ve realised how much fun it is, consider scheduling a regular date night in 2015. Date nights are such a treat for any couple. One that your relationship deserves!
Decide that from now on, regular date nights will be part of your lifestyle as a couple. Pick a day either every month, fortnight or week. Set a firm date ahead of time – is it the last Friday of every month? Is it every Wednesday? Is it every odd Saturday night?
Once decided, put it in your calendar for the rest of the year – now. With reminders and alerts. Scheduling it ahead of time is key. You now have a year of date nights locked in, and they are now an utmost priority.
Other things may come up to clash with your date night – do you really need to go to them? Really, really? If so, politely inform your partner as early as possible and reschedule them immediately to another suitable night. Both prioritizing your date nights and treating them like an important event on the calendar signals to your partner that they are important to you, and that you will make time in your schedule to honor them.
4. Say ‘Yes!’ more often
This is great for your relationship – and your life! I did a year of this once and I had such adventures! I learned to ride a motorcycle, I took spontaneous road trips, I flew in a hot air balloon… take this further and make an effort to say ‘yes!’ to your partner more often and watch your relationship blossom.
When your partner makes a proposition, an offer or a suggestion, just say yes. Don’t criticise. Don’t tell them it’s a silly idea. Don’t pout. Just say yes!
As a couple, when other people invite you places, just say yes! If you both have a sudden brainwave to go away take an epic holiday or drive all night until you get to Disneyland – say ‘yes!’ and jump in with two feet!
Life is so much better with more ‘yes!’ in it. You open yourself to more energy and momentum. More things get done. Fun things!
5. Kiss for longer
Passionate kissing often falls by the wayside in longterm relationships. But it has a host of health benefits, as well as the added advantage of keeping you more connected to your partner. Some studies have found that it’s the frequency of kissing, rather than the frequency of sex, that is an excellent indicator to relationship security. It’s just something happy couples do a lot of.
10 seconds is a good benchmark to start you off – this ensures you’re not just giving each other chaste pecks. If you have to get to your 10 second time limit, you’ll probably get a bit creative with your kisses.
You might have to start with timed 10 second (or so) kisses, but soon enough – if you make it a habit – it will feel very natural and spontaneous for you to indulge in a bit of a hallway makeout session together whenever the mood takes you.
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More massages and how to get them. That’s the $64,000 dollar question we hear from couples all the time.
Actually, it’s usually more of a jovial demand between partners than a question. In our live seminars, on our social media pages, and standing in front of us in the flesh there are couples begging each other for massages:
“He never massages me at all.”
“She doesn’t last more than three minutes.”
“It’s your turn…”
“No, it’s your turn…”
Just look at the social media comments on this recent article we wrote for MindBodyGreen – everyone is having a great time ribbing each other about massages, which is all good fun, but it’s also very close to the truth: We all want to get the massages, not give them!
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The funny thing is, there’s a couple of ways I know of that will get you more massages – and more satisfying massages at that – and none of them involve nagging your partner for a back rub, which seems to be the favorite approach among couples everywhere.
Besides, massages are so much nicer when your partner actually wants to do them for you, rather than harrumphing their way through a quick shoulder rub while keeping one eye on the clock so as not to go a minute more than they think you deserve.
Over the past decade running this business and spending countless hours massaging my husband (and getting plenty back in return) we’ve got the art of wangling a massage down pat. And I’m going to share it with you now. People don’t talk about this often – treat this information like gold.
1. Your Partner Needs to Learn to Massage Properly, So Their Hands Don’t Hurt
It’s very convenient that this is my first point, given I run a business that teaches couples how to massage each other… but it’s the absolute truth (and the reason our business is so successful, I might add, is because it works).
Think about it. People hate to do things that:
a) Hurt;
b) They aren’t good at;
c) They don’t know how to do
The good news is, massage is easy when you know where to put your hands and what to do with them.
When your partner learns to massage, you’re going to need to learn too, of course. It doesn’t take long to do. With just a few simple tips you can learn how to stop your hands hurting and last more than five minutes giving a massage.
The best way to go about this is to tell them you want to learn some massage skills together. Start by letting them be the massage guinea pig while you try out some massage tips, then swap over and let them massage you too. Learn together and make it fun.
Here are some of our best free massage tips to start you off. Have a play around and see what you can do:
Give us a little bit of your time and a web connection and you can both learn in the comfort of your own home – by the end of Melt: Massage for Couples, your partner will be able to treat you to a 30-minute massage without a sore hand in sight… and they’ll be able to hit all the right places that will make you hum with delight.
I know, it sounds like a total cop out for me to tell you to massage them more.
It’s like at the end of the Wizard of Oz when the Great Oz tells Dorothy & Co. that they had the capability within themselves the entire time and you’re like… all that for nothing?
But really.
If you want more massages from your partner, the first thing you need to do is adopt a spirit of generosity and selflessly give your partner a thorough massage. It’s the Law of Reciprocity – do something nice for someone, and they will find themselves with a deep-seated urge to reciprocate in kind back to you.
Keep in mind, you will have picked up a couple of massage tips already so giving them a little rub will be easy. Take what you know and bestow a massage upon your unsuspecting sweetheart tonight. Or save it for when you know they’ve had a long day or a hard workout session… they’ll love you even more for it then.
Here’s the kicker: at the end of your massage do not ask for one in return. Do not. If they offer, smile sweetly and plant a kiss on their cheek, and tell them you just want them to relax tonight, they can owe you one for another time.
They will glow. And that tiny seed of big-heartedness will blossom through your entire relationship, and return threefold later.
Give, give, give. I can’t emphasize this point enough!
3. Positive Reinforcement
When you are lucky enough to have your massage returned to you, heap lashings of praise on your partner’s efforts.
Become your partner’s biggest cheerleader and they will feel great about what they’re doing for you.
There’s nothing worse than massaging someone (professionally or on a personal level) who sits quietly as though they have been struck dumb.
Imagine making love to someone who didn’t make a sound through the entire experience… how would you know they were having a good time?
Every single time your partner massages you, give them encouragement by moaning, groaning and complimenting them throughout. Every time! Tell them when they’ve hit the right spot, tell them when the stroke they’re trying out is amazing, tell them how fantastic they’re making you feel!
Your partner wants to do nice things for you, because they love you. Trust me, hey will be stoked to discover you love their massages so much.
And don’t forget to thank them profusely afterward.
Once you’ve worked the positive reinforcement magic, they’ll automatically start to think of giving you a rub when they want to do something nice for you. It’s an easy, free way to show someone you love them, after all. Help them realise that.
4. Use Your Trump Cards
Think of these as bonus massages throughout the year. Use any special occasion excuse to ask for a massage. I do it all the time on my birthday – as a lovely treat for the day, I tell my massage therapist husband, I’d just love a full body massage on the massage table.
How can he refuse the birthday girl? He can’t.
I have also been known to guilt foot rubs out of him when I’m feeling sick and head massages when he knows I’ve had a stressful day. In sickness and in health, right?
Appeal to your partner’s best nature and they will simply have to comply for you on any special occasion or out-of-the-ordinary circumstance. Just be sure to give it back as freely when it’s their turn.
And remember – lots of praise and sincere thanks will set you up for future massages too. You’re welcome.
Lots More Tips – right here…
We’re experts in teaching couples how to give amazing back rubs! Over 10,000 couples taught. Want to learn more? Click here to get our favourite tips for free:
Sign up free. No spam. We will never share your address. Just good massage tips and exclusive content.
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Gift vouchers. Impersonal, lazy ways to give presents, right? Especially when it comes to your partner, spouse, lover or significant other.
Wrong.
Everyone knows the best presents are thoughtful ones. And guess what? There’s no reason why vouchers can’t be thoughtful! In fact, I would argue that they’re often even more thoughtful than, say, a new sweater in a questionable color or the latest iPad.
The people that hate on gift vouchers have a bunch of arguments. Have you ever heard these?
“It’s like money, but less useful.”
“You’re basically saying you’ve given up on finding an actual present.”
“What kind of present requires work on behalf of the recipient?”
As far as I can tell, the biggest barrier to couples bestowing gift vouchers on each other is that it’s widely considered an impersonal present to give your spouse or lover come Christmas, Valentine’s Day or Birthdays.
Impersonal? Nonsense.
I mean sure, I agree that simply slapping $50 onto a department store card without really thinking it through is positively slothful.
But – done right – gift vouchers can make for some of the most touching and beautiful presents you’ll ever give, or receive.
That comes with a few caveats though. Just hear me out.
There’s the right way and the wrong way to give a gift voucher. Here’s how to make gift vouchers into a romantic gift – my definitive guide. (Make sure you read the last point, it’s the one crucial step that brings everything together):
1. Thoughtfulness is Everything*
A voucher for the hardware store, however practical, is not going to get anyone’s pulse racing.
If you’re going down the gift voucher route, you need to make it über-tailored.
Start by thinking very hard about what’s going on in your partner’s life right now.
Have they just taken up yoga? Get them a voucher to a high-end exercise gear store.
Are they known for saving all their pennies to spend on the kids and house? Get them a voucher to a clothing store you know they love (check the labels in their closet!) so they have to spoil themselves.
Are they doing up a vintage car? How about a voucher for some antique car parts?
2. Gift an Experience*
It’s a consumer world; we already buy most material possessions we want for ourselves and there’s a new trend away from material possessions with the introduction of the minimalist thinkers around the internet.
By far, one of the most significant gifts you can give in this day and age is an experience you know your partner will love. Something that impacts them in a different way.
Again, gifting experiences requires the same careful thinking I just spoke about – a voucher for a bungee jump won’t go down well with someone who has an intense fear of heights, for example (just ask my husband who turned a lovely shade of beetroot-rage and deathly pale at all once when he was given him a skydiving voucher for his 30th).
Is your partner really into gourmet cooking? How about a cooking class for a cuisine they haven’t mastered yet?
Are they stressed and tired lately from work? What about a pampering session at a day spa (trust me, men love this as much as women do, they just generally don’t know it yet)?
Do they spend a lot of time at the driving range? How about an hour with a pro perfecting their swing?
3. Gift an Experience You Can Do Together*
Here’s where the romance factor starts to skyrocket.
There is simply no substitute for spending time with your sweetie, and we already know that science has proven doing new things together as a couple is ridiculously good for your relationship. It floods your system with happy hormones that keep you bonded and happy.
For that reason, gifting a gorgeous experience that the two of you can look forward to doing together is – in my opinion – king of all gift voucher giving and really ups the romance ante on your gift giving.
Perhaps a weekend away, language classes, or a hot air balloon ride. We obviously love our very own Melt: Massage for Couples video courses where you can get your hands all over each other in your own home night after night – it really is the gift that keeps on giving.
Whatever you choose, know that you’re doing something wonderful for your relationship. It may even seem like too much fun to be a good thing, but trust me… you can never make too many joyful memories as a couple.
*The Clincher: Wrap Something Up for a Really Romantic Gift
This is the important part and it applies to all the points above. In order to make a gift voucher the perfect romantic gift, you need to gift them along with something to unwrap. Otherwise it really is just a piece of paper or a plastic card that will sometime in the future take on its proper meaning.
A simple solution is to give something tangible along with the voucher as a little appetiser for the upcoming experience they are going to enjoy. It’s a delicious way to build anticipation and makes the gift voucher much more real immediately.
Let’s go back over some of the examples I’ve already used:
A Moroccan Cooking Class would go perfectly with some gourmet spices and a tagine pot.
A golf lesson will pair beautifully with a new leather monogrammed glove.
Give them a head start on their exercise gear voucher with a new gym bag.
When people gift our Melt: Massage for Couples vouchers to their spouse or to another couple, we encourage them to purchase a few massage essentials to package with the gift – a scented candle, a bottle of massage oil, a blindfold and a soft hand towel is everything you need (and more) to start massaging right away. You then have the added benefit of being able to start that very night.
Our Melt Gift Voucher with scented votive candle, massage oil and plush hand towel. The perfect gift.
So there you have it – the next time you’re looking for an incredibly personal and romantic gift, look no further than a gift voucher.
Feel free to comment below with the gift vouchers you have in mind for upcoming celebrations, or some details about the recipient if you can’t decide what to get them. We will crowdsource some inspirational, thoughtful gift voucher ideas for you, including the tangible elements you can wrap up as the “appetizer present”.
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How to Apply Massage Oil: The Sexy Way
Hey hey, I’m Denis Merkas and this is another “Melt” couples massage tip… #12! This tip is a good one, are you ready? I’ve been teaching couples how to massage for a decade now. 10,000+ couples have attended my live courses, downloaded my videos and read my ebooks too… applying massage oil correctly is something that I see couples get wrong, and often too.
Hey, I’ve even seen professional massage practitioners struggle with this, they rush through the strokes likes its a race, and hands move around like they’re the spin cycle of a washing machine.
Without structure your massage will feel amateurish at best.
I want your hands to feel refined and purposeful. I want your hands to be confident… I want your partner to anticipate themselves melting the second your back rub begins.
First Impressions Count…
First impressions really do count. The better your back rub is at the very beginning, the quicker your partner will turn to putty and melt in your hands. Sound good? Let me show you how its done properly.
Win them over in the first 30 seconds and I promise you the rest of your back rub will unfold to be an experience they’ll brag about to their friends.
Let’s start with what not to do. Here’s a few ways people are screwing up their massage oil application. Don’t do these things! Watch the video and I’ll explain it all, or read the wrap-up below for the summary.
Things to know before you learn how to apply massage oil
What you definitely should do
What you should absolutely not do
Lots More Tips – right here…
We’re experts in teaching couples how to give amazing back rubs! Over 10,000 couples taught. Want to learn more? Click here to get our favourite tips for free:
I want to learn more couples massage tips
Sign up free. No spam. We will never share your address. Just good massage tips and exclusive content.
This Will Be Really Special For Your Sweetie
Here’s an adorable way to turn your massage into a mystery treasure hunt that will build anticipation and keep your sweetie guessing all day long.
You’re welcome to download them for free so you can hide them around in a little hide and seek treasure hunt as cute clues for the massage you’re going to give your partner tonight.
As you can see, each little card has a massage pun hidden in it. While a single card won’t make much sense to your partner on its own, as they discover and collect them throughout the day their Sherlock powers of deduction may see how this is all leading to one hot massage for them later that night!
This is a perfect romantic gesture for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day or just because you want to thrill your sweetie and make them smile for no reason at all.
Here’s how it works.
This is the perfect example of taking a simple, loving gesture like giving a massage and going above and beyond to turn it into an exciting experience that draws out a full day of anticipation and excitement for your sweetie. Best of all, it costs practically nothing to pull it off!
How did we come up with this idea? A few Valentine’s Days ago, we were pretty strapped for cash and I was searching for a really low-cost way to let Den know I was thinking of him, even if we couldn’t lash out on an expensive dinner or dozens of roses. I stumbled across some cute printables online and set about doing just this with them – he loved it! He’s kept them ever since and he still smiles when he sees one of them stuck up in his office.
It’s Not “Just Massage”… Here’s Why.
‘Just massage? You just teach massage?’
Yes, that’s what Den and I do.
I know, it seems improbable that two people can make a living off teaching massage to couples, but that’s our full time work now. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
But we don’t think of it as ‘just massage’ (as a lot of people like to call it).
For us, it actually stretches much farther than that. It means so much more.
Before Melt, we conducted live massage seminars every month as a side business for eight years.
We created a website full of date ideas and relationship advice for couples. I had a national relationships and dating column in a newspaper for three years. We have both written and researched pages and pages of content on the subjects of love and relationships over the years.
Den and I are not high-level academics. We don’t have PhDs in psychology and we aren’t science-based research experts.
So, we use the talents we have not to help create groundbreaking studies or counsel marriages back from the brink of divorce, but to help decipher some of the better information out there and – here’s the part that is really important to us – use that research to come up with some practical, helpful tools couples could actually put to use in their everyday lives, to help them take advantage of and put into practice relationship findings from some of the greatest minds in the field of love.
Take $30 Date Night, our date ideas website. It was originally based on research from Arthur P. Aron of the University of Stonybrook in New York.
Aron found that novelty plays an important part in satisfaction levels of couples, and he recommended a regular date night doing new things each time to keep the flames alive.
We thought that sounded like a great idea, so we rallied. We came up with a huge collection of hundreds of date ideas – easy, fun, novel, cheap dates that couples could access when they wanted a boost for their relationship. Practical stuff. Useful stuff.
It worked for us, so we wanted to share it. We put it on the Internet. And we were rapt when we saw it working for other people too.
$30 Date Night provided a small, practical but not to be underestimated solution for an everyday relationship issue – How to get closer. How to stay connected. How to make time for one another in a busy world.
We look at Melt much in the same way, an extension of the same work.
There are scores of studies about the benefits of cuddling for couples, of non-sexual touch and it’s importance in relationships, of how massage between couples can boost trust and intimacy, of how gentle touch with no direct eye contact can help open channels of communication and of how some of the happiest, most long-lasting couples make back rubs a part of their regular routine.
Not to mention the proven health benefits of massage that have been long known in the medical and wellness community.
Being able to massage your partner is a kind, generous act that speaks to every Love Language and shows how much you care.
Den and I see our chance at being able to offer that to couples as one of our most important projects to date. Backed by research. And it’s making a difference – a real difference – to people’s lives all over the globe, one couple at a time.
And that’s way more than “just a massage”.
5 Simple Romantic Ideas for Your Relationship (Start Now)
Romance is one of those things we all wish we had a little more of in our lives. Often, we make the mistake of thinking that romantic gestures need to be big, grand, sweeping statements bursting with red roses and violins. They don’t. Incorporate some romance into your lives with these simple romantic ideas that will make your lover swoon.
Here are 5 simple romantic ideas that will make your relationship better instantly:
1. Give a back rub
It’s no secret that at Melt, we think back rubs are the bomb. A recent study entitled The Normal Bar found that there was one surprising thing ‘extremely happy’ couples had in common – 74% of them gave each other back massages! Yes, even we were pleasantly surprised by these findings!
As it turns out, the kind of attention you lavish on each other during a back rub can be a crucial ingredient for a fantastic relationship. Get more massages from your partner by learning how to rub them the right way. The more massages, the happier the couple. It’s practically guaranteed.
Massage increases your intimacy and trust, is a fantastic way to get closer together and show your partner some appreciation and you can make it a very romantic evening or just a bit of chilled out fun, depending on how you play it!
2. Plan an impromptu getaway
This is super important. It doesn’t have to be the holiday of a lifetime. Plan ahead and aim for a relaxed, romantic weekend getaway. Budget, say, $300. If you start now and put away $25 per week, you’ll be set to go in just a few months’ time!
Do the fun work now of deciding where you’d like to escape to with your sweetie. A city getaway in a nice hotel room? A remote log cabin in the woods? A beachside B&B? Pick somewhere that excites you both, so you have something to look forward to.
If you know your partner well and you think you can nail it without their input, keeping something like this a surprise is another way to make a big impact that they’ll love! Give them some anticipation by dropping hints a few weeks out and teasing them with information. They’ll be blown away.
3. Organise a clever date night
Something magical happens when you try new experiences together. It reignites the same chemistry as when you first started dating. And the feeling is even more heightened when there’s an element of anticipation, exploration, learning, fascination or achievement. When it comes to a date night, try organising something unusual and completely out of character for the two of you.
For something completely different try one of these date ideas:
Once you’ve realised how much fun it is, consider scheduling a regular date night in 2015. Date nights are such a treat for any couple. One that your relationship deserves!
Decide that from now on, regular date nights will be part of your lifestyle as a couple. Pick a day either every month, fortnight or week. Set a firm date ahead of time – is it the last Friday of every month? Is it every Wednesday? Is it every odd Saturday night?
Once decided, put it in your calendar for the rest of the year – now. With reminders and alerts. Scheduling it ahead of time is key. You now have a year of date nights locked in, and they are now an utmost priority.
Other things may come up to clash with your date night – do you really need to go to them? Really, really? If so, politely inform your partner as early as possible and reschedule them immediately to another suitable night. Both prioritizing your date nights and treating them like an important event on the calendar signals to your partner that they are important to you, and that you will make time in your schedule to honor them.
4. Say ‘Yes!’ more often
This is great for your relationship – and your life! I did a year of this once and I had such adventures! I learned to ride a motorcycle, I took spontaneous road trips, I flew in a hot air balloon… take this further and make an effort to say ‘yes!’ to your partner more often and watch your relationship blossom.
When your partner makes a proposition, an offer or a suggestion, just say yes. Don’t criticise. Don’t tell them it’s a silly idea. Don’t pout. Just say yes!
As a couple, when other people invite you places, just say yes! If you both have a sudden brainwave to go away take an epic holiday or drive all night until you get to Disneyland – say ‘yes!’ and jump in with two feet!
Life is so much better with more ‘yes!’ in it. You open yourself to more energy and momentum. More things get done. Fun things!
5. Kiss for longer
Passionate kissing often falls by the wayside in longterm relationships. But it has a host of health benefits, as well as the added advantage of keeping you more connected to your partner. Some studies have found that it’s the frequency of kissing, rather than the frequency of sex, that is an excellent indicator to relationship security. It’s just something happy couples do a lot of.
10 seconds is a good benchmark to start you off – this ensures you’re not just giving each other chaste pecks. If you have to get to your 10 second time limit, you’ll probably get a bit creative with your kisses.
You might have to start with timed 10 second (or so) kisses, but soon enough – if you make it a habit – it will feel very natural and spontaneous for you to indulge in a bit of a hallway makeout session together whenever the mood takes you.
How to Swindle More Massages From Your Partner
More massages and how to get them. That’s the $64,000 dollar question we hear from couples all the time.
Actually, it’s usually more of a jovial demand between partners than a question. In our live seminars, on our social media pages, and standing in front of us in the flesh there are couples begging each other for massages:
“He never massages me at all.”
“She doesn’t last more than three minutes.”
“It’s your turn…”
“No, it’s your turn…”
Just look at the social media comments on this recent article we wrote for MindBodyGreen – everyone is having a great time ribbing each other about massages, which is all good fun, but it’s also very close to the truth: We all want to get the massages, not give them!
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Over the past decade running this business and spending countless hours massaging my husband (and getting plenty back in return) we’ve got the art of wangling a massage down pat. And I’m going to share it with you now. People don’t talk about this often – treat this information like gold.
1. Your Partner Needs to Learn to Massage Properly, So Their Hands Don’t Hurt
It’s very convenient that this is my first point, given I run a business that teaches couples how to massage each other… but it’s the absolute truth (and the reason our business is so successful, I might add, is because it works).
Think about it. People hate to do things that:
a) Hurt;
b) They aren’t good at;
c) They don’t know how to do
The good news is, massage is easy when you know where to put your hands and what to do with them.
When your partner learns to massage, you’re going to need to learn too, of course. It doesn’t take long to do. With just a few simple tips you can learn how to stop your hands hurting and last more than five minutes giving a massage.
The best way to go about this is to tell them you want to learn some massage skills together. Start by letting them be the massage guinea pig while you try out some massage tips, then swap over and let them massage you too. Learn together and make it fun.
Here are some of our best free massage tips to start you off. Have a play around and see what you can do:
“The Melt Set Up” Will Change the Way You Give Back Rubs Forever
The Most Important Massage Tip I’ll Ever Teach You
We Experimented with a Blindfold and This is What We Found
Give us a little bit of your time and a web connection and you can both learn in the comfort of your own home – by the end of Melt: Massage for Couples, your partner will be able to treat you to a 30-minute massage without a sore hand in sight… and they’ll be able to hit all the right places that will make you hum with delight.
Hot tip: make it a special couples massage gift voucher as a present, then they’ll have to use it!
2. Get Massaging Yourself
I know, it sounds like a total cop out for me to tell you to massage them more.
It’s like at the end of the Wizard of Oz when the Great Oz tells Dorothy & Co. that they had the capability within themselves the entire time and you’re like… all that for nothing?
But really.
If you want more massages from your partner, the first thing you need to do is adopt a spirit of generosity and selflessly give your partner a thorough massage. It’s the Law of Reciprocity – do something nice for someone, and they will find themselves with a deep-seated urge to reciprocate in kind back to you.
Keep in mind, you will have picked up a couple of massage tips already so giving them a little rub will be easy. Take what you know and bestow a massage upon your unsuspecting sweetheart tonight. Or save it for when you know they’ve had a long day or a hard workout session… they’ll love you even more for it then.
Here’s the kicker: at the end of your massage do not ask for one in return. Do not. If they offer, smile sweetly and plant a kiss on their cheek, and tell them you just want them to relax tonight, they can owe you one for another time.
They will glow. And that tiny seed of big-heartedness will blossom through your entire relationship, and return threefold later.
Give, give, give. I can’t emphasize this point enough!
3. Positive Reinforcement
When you are lucky enough to have your massage returned to you, heap lashings of praise on your partner’s efforts.
Become your partner’s biggest cheerleader and they will feel great about what they’re doing for you.
There’s nothing worse than massaging someone (professionally or on a personal level) who sits quietly as though they have been struck dumb.
Imagine making love to someone who didn’t make a sound through the entire experience… how would you know they were having a good time?
Every single time your partner massages you, give them encouragement by moaning, groaning and complimenting them throughout. Every time! Tell them when they’ve hit the right spot, tell them when the stroke they’re trying out is amazing, tell them how fantastic they’re making you feel!
Your partner wants to do nice things for you, because they love you. Trust me, hey will be stoked to discover you love their massages so much.
And don’t forget to thank them profusely afterward.
Once you’ve worked the positive reinforcement magic, they’ll automatically start to think of giving you a rub when they want to do something nice for you. It’s an easy, free way to show someone you love them, after all. Help them realise that.
4. Use Your Trump Cards
Think of these as bonus massages throughout the year. Use any special occasion excuse to ask for a massage. I do it all the time on my birthday – as a lovely treat for the day, I tell my massage therapist husband, I’d just love a full body massage on the massage table.
How can he refuse the birthday girl? He can’t.
I have also been known to guilt foot rubs out of him when I’m feeling sick and head massages when he knows I’ve had a stressful day. In sickness and in health, right?
Appeal to your partner’s best nature and they will simply have to comply for you on any special occasion or out-of-the-ordinary circumstance. Just be sure to give it back as freely when it’s their turn.
And remember – lots of praise and sincere thanks will set you up for future massages too. You’re welcome.
Lots More Tips – right here…
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Why Gift Vouchers Absolutely ARE a Romantic Gift
Gift vouchers. Impersonal, lazy ways to give presents, right? Especially when it comes to your partner, spouse, lover or significant other.
Wrong.
Everyone knows the best presents are thoughtful ones. And guess what? There’s no reason why vouchers can’t be thoughtful! In fact, I would argue that they’re often even more thoughtful than, say, a new sweater in a questionable color or the latest iPad.
The people that hate on gift vouchers have a bunch of arguments. Have you ever heard these?
“It’s like money, but less useful.”
“You’re basically saying you’ve given up on finding an actual present.”
“What kind of present requires work on behalf of the recipient?”
As far as I can tell, the biggest barrier to couples bestowing gift vouchers on each other is that it’s widely considered an impersonal present to give your spouse or lover come Christmas, Valentine’s Day or Birthdays.
Impersonal? Nonsense.
I mean sure, I agree that simply slapping $50 onto a department store card without really thinking it through is positively slothful.
That comes with a few caveats though. Just hear me out.
There’s the right way and the wrong way to give a gift voucher. Here’s how to make gift vouchers into a romantic gift – my definitive guide. (Make sure you read the last point, it’s the one crucial step that brings everything together):
1. Thoughtfulness is Everything*
A voucher for the hardware store, however practical, is not going to get anyone’s pulse racing.
If you’re going down the gift voucher route, you need to make it über-tailored.
Start by thinking very hard about what’s going on in your partner’s life right now.
Have they just taken up yoga? Get them a voucher to a high-end exercise gear store.
Are they known for saving all their pennies to spend on the kids and house? Get them a voucher to a clothing store you know they love (check the labels in their closet!) so they have to spoil themselves.
Are they doing up a vintage car? How about a voucher for some antique car parts?
2. Gift an Experience*
It’s a consumer world; we already buy most material possessions we want for ourselves and there’s a new trend away from material possessions with the introduction of the minimalist thinkers around the internet.
By far, one of the most significant gifts you can give in this day and age is an experience you know your partner will love. Something that impacts them in a different way.
Again, gifting experiences requires the same careful thinking I just spoke about – a voucher for a bungee jump won’t go down well with someone who has an intense fear of heights, for example (just ask my husband who turned a lovely shade of beetroot-rage and deathly pale at all once when he was given him a skydiving voucher for his 30th).
Is your partner really into gourmet cooking? How about a cooking class for a cuisine they haven’t mastered yet?
Are they stressed and tired lately from work? What about a pampering session at a day spa (trust me, men love this as much as women do, they just generally don’t know it yet)?
Do they spend a lot of time at the driving range? How about an hour with a pro perfecting their swing?
3. Gift an Experience You Can Do Together*
Here’s where the romance factor starts to skyrocket.
There is simply no substitute for spending time with your sweetie, and we already know that science has proven doing new things together as a couple is ridiculously good for your relationship. It floods your system with happy hormones that keep you bonded and happy.
For that reason, gifting a gorgeous experience that the two of you can look forward to doing together is – in my opinion – king of all gift voucher giving and really ups the romance ante on your gift giving.
Perhaps a weekend away, language classes, or a hot air balloon ride. We obviously love our very own Melt: Massage for Couples video courses where you can get your hands all over each other in your own home night after night – it really is the gift that keeps on giving.
Whatever you choose, know that you’re doing something wonderful for your relationship. It may even seem like too much fun to be a good thing, but trust me… you can never make too many joyful memories as a couple.
*The Clincher: Wrap Something Up for a Really Romantic Gift
This is the important part and it applies to all the points above. In order to make a gift voucher the perfect romantic gift, you need to gift them along with something to unwrap. Otherwise it really is just a piece of paper or a plastic card that will sometime in the future take on its proper meaning.
A simple solution is to give something tangible along with the voucher as a little appetiser for the upcoming experience they are going to enjoy. It’s a delicious way to build anticipation and makes the gift voucher much more real immediately.
Let’s go back over some of the examples I’ve already used:
A Moroccan Cooking Class would go perfectly with some gourmet spices and a tagine pot.
A golf lesson will pair beautifully with a new leather monogrammed glove.
Give them a head start on their exercise gear voucher with a new gym bag.
When people gift our Melt: Massage for Couples vouchers to their spouse or to another couple, we encourage them to purchase a few massage essentials to package with the gift – a scented candle, a bottle of massage oil, a blindfold and a soft hand towel is everything you need (and more) to start massaging right away. You then have the added benefit of being able to start that very night.
Our Melt Gift Voucher with scented votive candle, massage oil and plush hand towel. The perfect gift.
So there you have it – the next time you’re looking for an incredibly personal and romantic gift, look no further than a gift voucher.
And in the name of shameless plugs, if you’re looking for something for your sweetie, I really do recommend you check out our Melt: Massage for Couples videos. They’re specifically designed to be a perfect gift for any couple… and couples really do love getting their hands all over each other in a whole new way.
Feel free to comment below with the gift vouchers you have in mind for upcoming celebrations, or some details about the recipient if you can’t decide what to get them. We will crowdsource some inspirational, thoughtful gift voucher ideas for you, including the tangible elements you can wrap up as the “appetizer present”.