The Things You Need To Know
Massage is easy, when you know where to rub and how to do it! Here’s a list of Denis’ Top 10 Tips for Couples:
Don’t Squirt Oil Onto Your Partner’s Body
Simple solutions to outstanding results
- Squirting cold oil onto warm skin looks sexy in the movies, but feels terrible in real life.
- Always add oil to your hands first, and rub your palms together to warm the oil before applying it to the body. This technique feels so much better!
Contour your hands to your partners body
For a better massage
- The more surface area you can touch, the better your massage will feel. When your hands contour to your partners body, the whole hand has contact with your partners skin. When your hands are stiff only part of your hand has contact with your partners skin.
- When using relaxation strokes (such as long sweeping strokes) keep your fingertips and palms down and your wrists relaxed. Use your whole hand when massaging with long strokes, you can apply just a little pressure through the heel of your palm or fingertips.
- Stiff hands ruin the flow of a massageand makes your massage feel unnatural. If your palms are up, or fingertips up your hands are stiff and the massage stroke feels unnatural. Don’t be alarmed if your hands go stiff, it happens when we focus and concentrate – everyone does it, especially when we start to add pressure to the massage. Remember to keep checking your hands every few minutes to make sure they’re relaxed.Deep tissue massage usually requires stiff hands, but this comes later – first start with creating a flowing massage that’s sexy, a massage that will make your partner drool.
Use A Good Quality Oil
Oils are easy to find and relatively cheap to buy.
- Sweet Almond Oil – it’s my favourite oil. It’s light and provides a great consistency for an excellent massage flow.
- Apricot Oil – a great alternative for people with allergies to nuts.
- Grapeseed Oil – another alternative to a nut based oil.
- You can buy the above oils at most health food store
How Deep Can I Actually Go?
Surprisingly, on a healthy body you can go quite deep. Some people like it very deep and other prefer a lighter massage. What does your partner like?
- The easiest way to find out what depth and pressure your partner likes is to ask. Every good massage therapist asks their client if they would like deeper or lighter pressure.
- Always start your massage light and progressively work deeper. As you go deeper ask your partner if the pressure should be more or less (is this pressure too much? Or would you like it even deeper?)
- When you go deep there is potential of bruising the muscle. If the muscle is bruised your partner will feel sore for several days later.
- Don’t ever go in deep right away. Even if your partner loves deep tissue massage. It just doesn’t work! Take your time, romance your partner with awesome long relaxation strokes and progressively work your way deeper. You’ll relax your partner from the start allowing you to reach deeper muscles with less effort. When you massage deep from the very beginning your partners body will tense up making it harder for you to massage.
- I highly recommend repeating your long strokes in a rhythmical motion. It’ll calm and soothe your partner. I once had a practitioner that worked for me who wasn’t very confident with deep tissue massage, but her relaxation strokes was something you would die for! She repeated her strokes over and over varying her pressure ever so slightly. What she lacked in deep tissue pressure she made up in a hypnotic rhythmical motion – delicious!
- Go back to long repetitive strokes when you feel like you’ve run out of things to do, or not sure where to go next. Keep repeating long strokes and use the time to think of what other areas of the body you can move to and start working on again.
- When you feel like you’ve run out of areas to massage, it’s easiest to think of the areas of tension in YOUR back, neck, shoulder and arms that you love massaged. It most cases your partner will find these areas pleasurable to massage too!
Give Encouraging Feedback
- Do you love being massaged? Sure! We all do! There is one sure way to motivate your partner to keep giving you massages… tell them how amazing they’re doing.
- Your partner wants to please you… let them know that you are a big fan of their massage and they’ll keep doing it. There is nothing quite like having your partner melt with sighs of “ooh” and “ahh.” Let them hear you ooh and ahh! And when they’ve hit the right spot give them an “Oh, myyyyy that’s amazing!” When you’re partner knows they’ve got the right moves to turn you on – they’ll never want to stop massaging you!
Don’t Massage Without Being Prepared
- Lock the doors
- Turn off your phones
- Keep everything you need close to you! Oils and towels to wipe your bodies down. Once you begin the massage you do not want to be distracted. Continually starting and stopping the massage will ruin the moment.
- Make sure you’ve set up the room just how you want it, the music is not too loud or too soft, the temperature of the room is warm and lights are perfect.
- We all rush our massage when we first start, eager to get into our partners knots with deep tissue massage. Too often the massage ends within minutes, and with sore hands – what an anticlimax!
- Don’t leap towards deep tissue techniques, include long strokes to slow your technique down.
- Have a massage routine mapped out, my courses have several routines that you can follow – helping you slow down and extend your massage into a sexy 15-20 minute routine. Long enough to make your partner melt but not hurt your hands.
Learn from a PRO
- The best way to learn is to follow someone who knows what they’re doing. Learn from a PRO! I’ve set out a number of lessons that’ll teach couples with no massage experience through to more adventurous couples who are confident with massaging at home.
- I have been teaching couples how to massage through live courses since 2006
- After 5 years of teaching hundreds of couples how to massage each other, I have refined my teaching methods to include only the most important massage strokes couples need to use. You can download them here.
Practicing – The 5 Minute Rule
- You practice one technique for a maximum of 5 minutes, and then swap over. It doesn’t matter if you got it or not – still swap over.
- Continue swapping over and working on the same technique until you both feel that you’ve got it. You may work the same technique 6 times over – maybe more, but each 5 minute session will make you better.
- It’s just as important to feel the technique as it is to practice the technique. Each time your partner massages you, you’ll notice what feels good and what doesn’t. Then when it’s your turn try to copy the same techniques that felt good to you. Together you’ll naturally nut out your very own technique! This is how my peers and I practised when I first started learning how to massage.
- The 5 minute technique makes practicing fun. Things move so fast that you wont have a chance to be bored! In fact, you’ll be disappointed that you didn’t have enough time to perfect the massage stroke – anticipating when your next 5 minutes will approach so you can get your hands on your partner! Best of all, no one misses out!