More massages and how to get them. That’s the $64,000 dollar question we hear from couples all the time.
Actually, it’s usually more of a jovial demand between partners than a question. In our live seminars, on our social media pages, and standing in front of us in the flesh there are couples begging each other for massages:
“He never massages me at all.”
“She doesn’t last more than three minutes.”
“It’s your turn…”
“No, it’s your turn…”
Just look at the social media comments on this recent article we wrote for MindBodyGreen – everyone is having a great time ribbing each other about massages, which is all good fun, but it’s also very close to the truth: We all want to get the massages, not give them!
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The funny thing is, there’s a couple of ways I know of that will get you more massages – and more satisfying massages at that – and none of them involve nagging your partner for a back rub, which seems to be the favorite approach among couples everywhere.
Besides, massages are so much nicer when your partner actually wants to do them for you, rather than harrumphing their way through a quick shoulder rub while keeping one eye on the clock so as not to go a minute more than they think you deserve.
Over the past decade running this business and spending countless hours massaging my husband (and getting plenty back in return) we’ve got the art of wangling a massage down pat. And I’m going to share it with you now. People don’t talk about this often – treat this information like gold.
1. Your Partner Needs to Learn to Massage Properly, So Their Hands Don’t Hurt
It’s very convenient that this is my first point, given I run a business that teaches couples how to massage each other… but it’s the absolute truth (and the reason our business is so successful, I might add, is because it works).
Think about it. People hate to do things that:
a) Hurt;
b) They aren’t good at;
c) They don’t know how to do
The good news is, massage is easy when you know where to put your hands and what to do with them.
When your partner learns to massage, you’re going to need to learn too, of course. It doesn’t take long to do. With just a few simple tips you can learn how to stop your hands hurting and last more than five minutes giving a massage.
The best way to go about this is to tell them you want to learn some massage skills together. Start by letting them be the massage guinea pig while you try out some massage tips, then swap over and let them massage you too. Learn together and make it fun.
Here are some of our best free massage tips to start you off. Have a play around and see what you can do:
“The Melt Set Up” Will Change the Way You Give Back Rubs Forever
The Most Important Massage Tip I’ll Ever Teach You
We Experimented with a Blindfold and This is What We Found
Give us a little bit of your time and a web connection and you can both learn in the comfort of your own home – by the end of Melt: Massage for Couples, your partner will be able to treat you to a 30-minute massage without a sore hand in sight… and they’ll be able to hit all the right places that will make you hum with delight.
Hot tip: make it a special couples massage gift voucher as a present, then they’ll have to use it!
2. Get Massaging Yourself
I know, it sounds like a total cop out for me to tell you to massage them more.
It’s like at the end of the Wizard of Oz when the Great Oz tells Dorothy & Co. that they had the capability within themselves the entire time and you’re like… all that for nothing?
But really.
If you want more massages from your partner, the first thing you need to do is adopt a spirit of generosity and selflessly give your partner a thorough massage. It’s the Law of Reciprocity – do something nice for someone, and they will find themselves with a deep-seated urge to reciprocate in kind back to you.
Keep in mind, you will have picked up a couple of massage tips already so giving them a little rub will be easy. Take what you know and bestow a massage upon your unsuspecting sweetheart tonight. Or save it for when you know they’ve had a long day or a hard workout session… they’ll love you even more for it then.
Here’s the kicker: at the end of your massage do not ask for one in return. Do not. If they offer, smile sweetly and plant a kiss on their cheek, and tell them you just want them to relax tonight, they can owe you one for another time.
They will glow. And that tiny seed of big-heartedness will blossom through your entire relationship, and return threefold later.
Give, give, give. I can’t emphasize this point enough!
3. Positive Reinforcement
When you are lucky enough to have your massage returned to you, heap lashings of praise on your partner’s efforts.
Become your partner’s biggest cheerleader and they will feel great about what they’re doing for you.
There’s nothing worse than massaging someone (professionally or on a personal level) who sits quietly as though they have been struck dumb.
Imagine making love to someone who didn’t make a sound through the entire experience… how would you know they were having a good time?
Every single time your partner massages you, give them encouragement by moaning, groaning and complimenting them throughout. Every time! Tell them when they’ve hit the right spot, tell them when the stroke they’re trying out is amazing, tell them how fantastic they’re making you feel!
Your partner wants to do nice things for you, because they love you. Trust me, hey will be stoked to discover you love their massages so much.
And don’t forget to thank them profusely afterward.
Once you’ve worked the positive reinforcement magic, they’ll automatically start to think of giving you a rub when they want to do something nice for you. It’s an easy, free way to show someone you love them, after all. Help them realise that.
4. Use Your Trump Cards
Think of these as bonus massages throughout the year. Use any special occasion excuse to ask for a massage. I do it all the time on my birthday – as a lovely treat for the day, I tell my massage therapist husband, I’d just love a full body massage on the massage table.
How can he refuse the birthday girl? He can’t.
I have also been known to guilt foot rubs out of him when I’m feeling sick and head massages when he knows I’ve had a stressful day. In sickness and in health, right?
Appeal to your partner’s best nature and they will simply have to comply for you on any special occasion or out-of-the-ordinary circumstance. Just be sure to give it back as freely when it’s their turn.
And remember – lots of praise and sincere thanks will set you up for future massages too. You’re welcome.
Lots More Tips – right here…
We’re experts in teaching couples how to give amazing back rubs! Over 10,000 couples taught. Want to learn more? Click here to get our favourite tips for free:
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How to Gift a Mother’s Day Foot Rub
Do you know what your wonderful wife deserves for Mother’s Day this year? A sensational foot rub. And I know just the man to do it! (Yes, I mean you!)
She’s on her feet all day, after all. Whether its running after those rascals you two created, strutting through the office in heels, being up in the gym just working on her fitness… whatever it is your baby mama does on a daily basis in her life, we can guarantee she will melt for a foot massage.
You’ll start by learning the art of the perfect foot rub with our couples massage videos. Don’t worry, it only takes a few minutes to learn – and you can just pop them on your smart TV, laptop or device and follow along on the spot while your queen lounges on the couch and soaks up the pampering.
We suggest delivering a Mother’s Day foot rub right after your breakfast in bed ritual, before she’s even gotten up. She can recline into her pillows and bliss out while you treat her to a gorgeous massage.
We have gift vouchers available but we also recommend packaging the voucher with some thoughtful wrapped items that will help make her foot massage experience that much better.
Here are our top picks for what to wrap up this Mother’s Day with your foot rub voucher:
1. Massage Oil
We love massaging with massage oil. It can’t be beaten for a quality rub, it provides just the right amount of glide and will last through the massage without sinking into the skin.
A good quality massage oil is easy to find – you can pick it up at the drugstore or the grocery store. We’re a fan of plain carrier oils at Melt, though there are also some beautiful blended oils out there. Just be careful that neither you nor your partner have sensitive skin that will react with blended essential oils, or any aversion at all to certain essential oils (some aren’t suitable for pregnancy, for example). Do your research first. If you’re not sure about sensitivities or contraindications, you’re best to stick to plain sweet almond or grapeseed oil. Don’t worry, there are still some wonderful options.
2. Luxurious Foot Cream
While we always recommend massaging with oil, you can get away with using a gorgeous cream on an area as small as the foot. You may have to apply quite a bit… But what works best is if you complete most of your massage with a massage oil like the ones listed above and finish your massage by slathering some cream on at the very end to help soothe her feet. Make sure your foot cream application is incorporated as part of your massage – don’t just slap and dash! Here are some excellent options.
L’Occitane Shea Butter Foot Cream, 5.2 oz $28
Lavender, arnica and cooling mint make for a soothing addition to pure shea butter in this luxurious French foot cream. An absolute favorite of Beauty Editors everywhere, it comes in a beautiful box to make it even more special and will banish any rough spots from feet in just one week.
AHAVA Dead Sea Mud Dermud Intensive Foot Cream, 3.4 fl. oz. $21.20
Dead Sea Mud is known for improving skin’s natural processes, easing pain, relaxing muscles and providing inner calmness. Ahava formulates their products without parabens and harsh ingredients and they’re allergy tested and approved for event the most sensitive skin.
bliss Aloe Leaf + Peppermint Foot Patrol, 2.5 fl. oz. $18
This little beauty from cult spa Bliss packs triple active ingredients like salicylic acid and peppermint in for instant softening and refreshening of even the most tired feet. All at the sub-$20 price point!
3. Something Soft & Fluffy
At the very end, once you’ve rubbed her feet, tugged her toes and blissed her out, keep her tootsies cozy with a soft pair of socks or slippers. The traditional Mother’s Day present just got better.
Borghese Spa Socks Revitalizing Foot Care, $41.37
These aren’t just any socks – they’re super socks! Lined with a special polymer layer, the Borgehese spa socks deliver hydration to the feet just by wearing them! Pop them on the feet right before or right after a massage to help soften skin with no effort whatsoever. Infused with olive, jojoba and grapeseed oil to renew and smooth.
My Fashion Creations Teal Cable Knitted Socks, $28.99
After you’ve delivered an amazing foot rub and wiped off her feet, encase them snugly in these handmade socks. Knitted from a comfortable cotton and spandex blend, they are one size fits all and will work perfectly under boots or just for keeping legs warm around the house as slippers.
Airee Fairee® Slipper Boot Faux Fur Lined with Pom Poms, $15
While slippers are the classic Mother’s Day gift, not all slippers are created equal. For one, they’re not the most graceful item of clothing to wear. These ones, however, are a super cute option complete with pom poms that will keep Mom’s freshly-massaged feet warm and snug.
4. Something Beautiful
Make your woman feel like a Queen at the end of your massage by adorning her feet with one of these glamorous gifts.
Lovmely Anklet Triple Chain Turquoise, Coral, or White, 22k Gold Wire Wrapped, $50
There’s something very sexy about foot jewelry. Anklets and toe rings are the perfect accessory with summertime coming up to dress up a pair of flip flops or flat sandals. This handmade number from Lovmely at Etsy comes in a range of colours and is a simply stunning option for any woman with a Boho vibe.
Chanel Le Vernis Nail Color in Tenderly (Limited Edition), $27
Every season, the beauty world waits to see what colors Chanel will put out on the spring runway so every other nail brand can follow suit. This Tenderly is one of the three it colors of 2015 and a great option for keeping your lady’s toes looking spectacular. Help her paint them for added effect!
Nine West Danyell Ankle Strap Sandals, $109
You may not realize this, but women LOVE SHOES. I don’t know why men don’t gift them more often! Get her a stunning strappy pair of sandals for summer, take her out in them for Mother’s Day and when everyone comments on how gorgeous her shoes are, she can say they came with a free foot rub! These Nine West Danyell Ankle Straps have been walking off the shelves. They come in three colors and are bang on trend for the season.
From now until Mother’s Day, we are exclusively offering our foot rub course for free with any purchase of Melt: Massage for Couples. Click here for all the details or to buy now.
A Case for Why You Should Massage Your Partner Tonight
There’s something inherently sexy about massage between couples.
My husband Denis and I have been massaging each other for ten years now – giving a romantic massage is something we do as a treat for the other, or when we feel like our marriage needs some extra loving.
It works so well for us that we’ve created this entire company around teaching other couples how to massage each other. Because we believe every relationship deserves a little bit of massage.
I’m not a trained massage therapist, but Denis is. He is accustomed to getting professional massages from highly trained practitioners – but I’ll let you in on a little secret: Even though I’m an amateur, he still loves the massages he gets from me.
That’s because I have an advantage over the experts.
“As his lover, I can bring romance and intimacy to the massage in a big way. The massages I give my husband are unlike the ones anyone else gives him.”
Denis taught me everything I know when it comes to massage, and over the past decade I’ve made sure I get plenty of practice honing my skills. Massage is beautifully simple when you know where to rub and how to do it. And scientifically speaking, it does amazing things for your relationship.
Here are five reasons you should consider massaging your sweetie tonight:
1. Giving your partner a massage is one of the most romantic things you will ever do
If your relationship is begging for some romance, a massage is the perfect remedy. Candles, dim lighting, soft music, massage oil, exposed flesh, bodies close together… Offering your partner a back rub is a giving, selfless act that will make them melt with gratitude and seriously ups the romantic ante in your love life.
The way we set up our massages at home makes them even more sexy than you can imagine – instead of lying down on the bed or at arm’s length on a massage table, we use what we call The Melt Set Up (Den’s invention), which gets you much closer to your partner during your massage.
The Melt Set Up is massage done seated, and it was inspired by that scene in Ghost where Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore are getting hot and heavy with the pottery. It’s seriously sexy, and we recommend it for every couple who wants a romantic massage experience.
2. Massage radically builds your trust
Trust is a crucial part of any romantic relationship, and one of those things you can never have too much of. Trust requires ongoing work, and one of the best ways to achieve it is through massage and gentle touch, which has been proven to supercharge the trusting bond between couples.
Every massage has that one point where your partner’s body simply gives in. If you’re tuned in enough, you’ll notice it happen as if you’ve flicked a light switch. That moment where they fall into deep relaxation and melt under the rhythmical motion of your hands is the moment you’ve gained their complete trust.
It’s a powerful moment to share. Becoming putty in your partner’s hands and likewise, having them surrender to you in the same unquestioning way, is a beautiful, comforting experience that has far-reaching benefits through your entire relationship.
3. Massage creates effortless intimacy
The massage you get from your partner and the massage you get from a professional massage therapist should be two very different things. As lovers, you can take full advantage of the intimacy a massage can create between two people.
Intimacy is about being emotionally close to another person, and – despite popular belief – it is not an automatic occurrence in a relationship.
Intimacy needs to be carefully and continuously cultivated between romantic partners. Intimacy is about being vulnerable and still feeling safe. It’s formed in private moments, through shared experiences.
One of the most important ways to nurture this intimate connection is to spend time alone together as a couple, concentrating on each other. This could be in any number of ways, though massage is an extremely effective way to achieve it.
When you massage, you are focusing your absolute attention (right down to your hands) on each other in a private space, alone together. Intimacy begets intimacy – try it and watch your connection to your partner skyrocket.
4. Giving a massage inspires positivity and goodwill
While you’re massaging your partner, there’s no time (or inclination) to discuss day-to-day routines like children, work problems or the mortgage and there’s no opportunity for distractions such as the phone, checking emails or thinking about the chores you have to do.
When you begin massaging, it feels so good that you don’t want to leave and enter the real world again.
When you’re in that space, it’s soft, and romantic, it’s calm and peaceful. Your energy is aligned with your partner’s – you are attuned to one another. This energetic connection and gratitude for each other doesn’t dissipate right away; it flows through the rest your interactions inspiring positivity in your day.
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How to Apply Massage Oil: The Sexy Way
Hey hey, I’m Denis Merkas and this is another “Melt” couples massage tip… #12! This tip is a good one, are you ready? I’ve been teaching couples how to massage for a decade now. 10,000+ couples have attended my live courses, downloaded my videos and read my ebooks too… applying massage oil correctly is something that I see couples get wrong, and often too.
Hey, I’ve even seen professional massage practitioners struggle with this, they rush through the strokes likes its a race, and hands move around like they’re the spin cycle of a washing machine.
Without structure your massage will feel amateurish at best.
I want your hands to feel refined and purposeful. I want your hands to be confident… I want your partner to anticipate themselves melting the second your back rub begins.
First Impressions Count…
First impressions really do count. The better your back rub is at the very beginning, the quicker your partner will turn to putty and melt in your hands. Sound good? Let me show you how its done properly.
Win them over in the first 30 seconds and I promise you the rest of your back rub will unfold to be an experience they’ll brag about to their friends.
Let’s start with what not to do. Here’s a few ways people are screwing up their massage oil application. Don’t do these things! Watch the video and I’ll explain it all, or read the wrap-up below for the summary.
Things to know before you learn how to apply massage oil
What you definitely should do
What you should absolutely not do
Lots More Tips – right here…
We’re experts in teaching couples how to give amazing back rubs! Over 10,000 couples taught. Want to learn more? Click here to get our favourite tips for free:
I want to learn more couples massage tips
Sign up free. No spam. We will never share your address. Just good massage tips and exclusive content.
This Will Be Really Special For Your Sweetie
Here’s an adorable way to turn your massage into a mystery treasure hunt that will build anticipation and keep your sweetie guessing all day long.
You’re welcome to download them for free so you can hide them around in a little hide and seek treasure hunt as cute clues for the massage you’re going to give your partner tonight.
As you can see, each little card has a massage pun hidden in it. While a single card won’t make much sense to your partner on its own, as they discover and collect them throughout the day their Sherlock powers of deduction may see how this is all leading to one hot massage for them later that night!
This is a perfect romantic gesture for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day or just because you want to thrill your sweetie and make them smile for no reason at all.
Here’s how it works.
This is the perfect example of taking a simple, loving gesture like giving a massage and going above and beyond to turn it into an exciting experience that draws out a full day of anticipation and excitement for your sweetie. Best of all, it costs practically nothing to pull it off!
How did we come up with this idea? A few Valentine’s Days ago, we were pretty strapped for cash and I was searching for a really low-cost way to let Den know I was thinking of him, even if we couldn’t lash out on an expensive dinner or dozens of roses. I stumbled across some cute printables online and set about doing just this with them – he loved it! He’s kept them ever since and he still smiles when he sees one of them stuck up in his office.
It’s Not “Just Massage”… Here’s Why.
‘Just massage? You just teach massage?’
Yes, that’s what Den and I do.
I know, it seems improbable that two people can make a living off teaching massage to couples, but that’s our full time work now. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
But we don’t think of it as ‘just massage’ (as a lot of people like to call it).
For us, it actually stretches much farther than that. It means so much more.
Before Melt, we conducted live massage seminars every month as a side business for eight years.
We created a website full of date ideas and relationship advice for couples. I had a national relationships and dating column in a newspaper for three years. We have both written and researched pages and pages of content on the subjects of love and relationships over the years.
Den and I are not high-level academics. We don’t have PhDs in psychology and we aren’t science-based research experts.
So, we use the talents we have not to help create groundbreaking studies or counsel marriages back from the brink of divorce, but to help decipher some of the better information out there and – here’s the part that is really important to us – use that research to come up with some practical, helpful tools couples could actually put to use in their everyday lives, to help them take advantage of and put into practice relationship findings from some of the greatest minds in the field of love.
Take $30 Date Night, our date ideas website. It was originally based on research from Arthur P. Aron of the University of Stonybrook in New York.
Aron found that novelty plays an important part in satisfaction levels of couples, and he recommended a regular date night doing new things each time to keep the flames alive.
We thought that sounded like a great idea, so we rallied. We came up with a huge collection of hundreds of date ideas – easy, fun, novel, cheap dates that couples could access when they wanted a boost for their relationship. Practical stuff. Useful stuff.
It worked for us, so we wanted to share it. We put it on the Internet. And we were rapt when we saw it working for other people too.
$30 Date Night provided a small, practical but not to be underestimated solution for an everyday relationship issue – How to get closer. How to stay connected. How to make time for one another in a busy world.
We look at Melt much in the same way, an extension of the same work.
There are scores of studies about the benefits of cuddling for couples, of non-sexual touch and it’s importance in relationships, of how massage between couples can boost trust and intimacy, of how gentle touch with no direct eye contact can help open channels of communication and of how some of the happiest, most long-lasting couples make back rubs a part of their regular routine.
Not to mention the proven health benefits of massage that have been long known in the medical and wellness community.
Being able to massage your partner is a kind, generous act that speaks to every Love Language and shows how much you care.
Den and I see our chance at being able to offer that to couples as one of our most important projects to date. Backed by research. And it’s making a difference – a real difference – to people’s lives all over the globe, one couple at a time.
And that’s way more than “just a massage”.
5 Simple Romantic Ideas for Your Relationship (Start Now)
Romance is one of those things we all wish we had a little more of in our lives. Often, we make the mistake of thinking that romantic gestures need to be big, grand, sweeping statements bursting with red roses and violins. They don’t. Incorporate some romance into your lives with these simple romantic ideas that will make your lover swoon.
Here are 5 simple romantic ideas that will make your relationship better instantly:
1. Give a back rub
It’s no secret that at Melt, we think back rubs are the bomb. A recent study entitled The Normal Bar found that there was one surprising thing ‘extremely happy’ couples had in common – 74% of them gave each other back massages! Yes, even we were pleasantly surprised by these findings!
As it turns out, the kind of attention you lavish on each other during a back rub can be a crucial ingredient for a fantastic relationship. Get more massages from your partner by learning how to rub them the right way. The more massages, the happier the couple. It’s practically guaranteed.
Massage increases your intimacy and trust, is a fantastic way to get closer together and show your partner some appreciation and you can make it a very romantic evening or just a bit of chilled out fun, depending on how you play it!
2. Plan an impromptu getaway
This is super important. It doesn’t have to be the holiday of a lifetime. Plan ahead and aim for a relaxed, romantic weekend getaway. Budget, say, $300. If you start now and put away $25 per week, you’ll be set to go in just a few months’ time!
Do the fun work now of deciding where you’d like to escape to with your sweetie. A city getaway in a nice hotel room? A remote log cabin in the woods? A beachside B&B? Pick somewhere that excites you both, so you have something to look forward to.
If you know your partner well and you think you can nail it without their input, keeping something like this a surprise is another way to make a big impact that they’ll love! Give them some anticipation by dropping hints a few weeks out and teasing them with information. They’ll be blown away.
3. Organise a clever date night
Something magical happens when you try new experiences together. It reignites the same chemistry as when you first started dating. And the feeling is even more heightened when there’s an element of anticipation, exploration, learning, fascination or achievement. When it comes to a date night, try organising something unusual and completely out of character for the two of you.
For something completely different try one of these date ideas:
Once you’ve realised how much fun it is, consider scheduling a regular date night in 2015. Date nights are such a treat for any couple. One that your relationship deserves!
Decide that from now on, regular date nights will be part of your lifestyle as a couple. Pick a day either every month, fortnight or week. Set a firm date ahead of time – is it the last Friday of every month? Is it every Wednesday? Is it every odd Saturday night?
Once decided, put it in your calendar for the rest of the year – now. With reminders and alerts. Scheduling it ahead of time is key. You now have a year of date nights locked in, and they are now an utmost priority.
Other things may come up to clash with your date night – do you really need to go to them? Really, really? If so, politely inform your partner as early as possible and reschedule them immediately to another suitable night. Both prioritizing your date nights and treating them like an important event on the calendar signals to your partner that they are important to you, and that you will make time in your schedule to honor them.
4. Say ‘Yes!’ more often
This is great for your relationship – and your life! I did a year of this once and I had such adventures! I learned to ride a motorcycle, I took spontaneous road trips, I flew in a hot air balloon… take this further and make an effort to say ‘yes!’ to your partner more often and watch your relationship blossom.
When your partner makes a proposition, an offer or a suggestion, just say yes. Don’t criticise. Don’t tell them it’s a silly idea. Don’t pout. Just say yes!
As a couple, when other people invite you places, just say yes! If you both have a sudden brainwave to go away take an epic holiday or drive all night until you get to Disneyland – say ‘yes!’ and jump in with two feet!
Life is so much better with more ‘yes!’ in it. You open yourself to more energy and momentum. More things get done. Fun things!
5. Kiss for longer
Passionate kissing often falls by the wayside in longterm relationships. But it has a host of health benefits, as well as the added advantage of keeping you more connected to your partner. Some studies have found that it’s the frequency of kissing, rather than the frequency of sex, that is an excellent indicator to relationship security. It’s just something happy couples do a lot of.
10 seconds is a good benchmark to start you off – this ensures you’re not just giving each other chaste pecks. If you have to get to your 10 second time limit, you’ll probably get a bit creative with your kisses.
You might have to start with timed 10 second (or so) kisses, but soon enough – if you make it a habit – it will feel very natural and spontaneous for you to indulge in a bit of a hallway makeout session together whenever the mood takes you.
How to Swindle More Massages From Your Partner
More massages and how to get them. That’s the $64,000 dollar question we hear from couples all the time.
Actually, it’s usually more of a jovial demand between partners than a question. In our live seminars, on our social media pages, and standing in front of us in the flesh there are couples begging each other for massages:
“He never massages me at all.”
“She doesn’t last more than three minutes.”
“It’s your turn…”
“No, it’s your turn…”
Just look at the social media comments on this recent article we wrote for MindBodyGreen – everyone is having a great time ribbing each other about massages, which is all good fun, but it’s also very close to the truth: We all want to get the massages, not give them!
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Over the past decade running this business and spending countless hours massaging my husband (and getting plenty back in return) we’ve got the art of wangling a massage down pat. And I’m going to share it with you now. People don’t talk about this often – treat this information like gold.
1. Your Partner Needs to Learn to Massage Properly, So Their Hands Don’t Hurt
It’s very convenient that this is my first point, given I run a business that teaches couples how to massage each other… but it’s the absolute truth (and the reason our business is so successful, I might add, is because it works).
Think about it. People hate to do things that:
a) Hurt;
b) They aren’t good at;
c) They don’t know how to do
The good news is, massage is easy when you know where to put your hands and what to do with them.
When your partner learns to massage, you’re going to need to learn too, of course. It doesn’t take long to do. With just a few simple tips you can learn how to stop your hands hurting and last more than five minutes giving a massage.
The best way to go about this is to tell them you want to learn some massage skills together. Start by letting them be the massage guinea pig while you try out some massage tips, then swap over and let them massage you too. Learn together and make it fun.
Here are some of our best free massage tips to start you off. Have a play around and see what you can do:
“The Melt Set Up” Will Change the Way You Give Back Rubs Forever
The Most Important Massage Tip I’ll Ever Teach You
We Experimented with a Blindfold and This is What We Found
Give us a little bit of your time and a web connection and you can both learn in the comfort of your own home – by the end of Melt: Massage for Couples, your partner will be able to treat you to a 30-minute massage without a sore hand in sight… and they’ll be able to hit all the right places that will make you hum with delight.
Hot tip: make it a special couples massage gift voucher as a present, then they’ll have to use it!
2. Get Massaging Yourself
I know, it sounds like a total cop out for me to tell you to massage them more.
It’s like at the end of the Wizard of Oz when the Great Oz tells Dorothy & Co. that they had the capability within themselves the entire time and you’re like… all that for nothing?
But really.
If you want more massages from your partner, the first thing you need to do is adopt a spirit of generosity and selflessly give your partner a thorough massage. It’s the Law of Reciprocity – do something nice for someone, and they will find themselves with a deep-seated urge to reciprocate in kind back to you.
Keep in mind, you will have picked up a couple of massage tips already so giving them a little rub will be easy. Take what you know and bestow a massage upon your unsuspecting sweetheart tonight. Or save it for when you know they’ve had a long day or a hard workout session… they’ll love you even more for it then.
Here’s the kicker: at the end of your massage do not ask for one in return. Do not. If they offer, smile sweetly and plant a kiss on their cheek, and tell them you just want them to relax tonight, they can owe you one for another time.
They will glow. And that tiny seed of big-heartedness will blossom through your entire relationship, and return threefold later.
Give, give, give. I can’t emphasize this point enough!
3. Positive Reinforcement
When you are lucky enough to have your massage returned to you, heap lashings of praise on your partner’s efforts.
Become your partner’s biggest cheerleader and they will feel great about what they’re doing for you.
There’s nothing worse than massaging someone (professionally or on a personal level) who sits quietly as though they have been struck dumb.
Imagine making love to someone who didn’t make a sound through the entire experience… how would you know they were having a good time?
Every single time your partner massages you, give them encouragement by moaning, groaning and complimenting them throughout. Every time! Tell them when they’ve hit the right spot, tell them when the stroke they’re trying out is amazing, tell them how fantastic they’re making you feel!
Your partner wants to do nice things for you, because they love you. Trust me, hey will be stoked to discover you love their massages so much.
And don’t forget to thank them profusely afterward.
Once you’ve worked the positive reinforcement magic, they’ll automatically start to think of giving you a rub when they want to do something nice for you. It’s an easy, free way to show someone you love them, after all. Help them realise that.
4. Use Your Trump Cards
Think of these as bonus massages throughout the year. Use any special occasion excuse to ask for a massage. I do it all the time on my birthday – as a lovely treat for the day, I tell my massage therapist husband, I’d just love a full body massage on the massage table.
How can he refuse the birthday girl? He can’t.
I have also been known to guilt foot rubs out of him when I’m feeling sick and head massages when he knows I’ve had a stressful day. In sickness and in health, right?
Appeal to your partner’s best nature and they will simply have to comply for you on any special occasion or out-of-the-ordinary circumstance. Just be sure to give it back as freely when it’s their turn.
And remember – lots of praise and sincere thanks will set you up for future massages too. You’re welcome.
Lots More Tips – right here…
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Why Gift Vouchers Absolutely ARE a Romantic Gift
Gift vouchers. Impersonal, lazy ways to give presents, right? Especially when it comes to your partner, spouse, lover or significant other.
Wrong.
Everyone knows the best presents are thoughtful ones. And guess what? There’s no reason why vouchers can’t be thoughtful! In fact, I would argue that they’re often even more thoughtful than, say, a new sweater in a questionable color or the latest iPad.
The people that hate on gift vouchers have a bunch of arguments. Have you ever heard these?
“It’s like money, but less useful.”
“You’re basically saying you’ve given up on finding an actual present.”
“What kind of present requires work on behalf of the recipient?”
As far as I can tell, the biggest barrier to couples bestowing gift vouchers on each other is that it’s widely considered an impersonal present to give your spouse or lover come Christmas, Valentine’s Day or Birthdays.
Impersonal? Nonsense.
I mean sure, I agree that simply slapping $50 onto a department store card without really thinking it through is positively slothful.
That comes with a few caveats though. Just hear me out.
There’s the right way and the wrong way to give a gift voucher. Here’s how to make gift vouchers into a romantic gift – my definitive guide. (Make sure you read the last point, it’s the one crucial step that brings everything together):
1. Thoughtfulness is Everything*
A voucher for the hardware store, however practical, is not going to get anyone’s pulse racing.
If you’re going down the gift voucher route, you need to make it über-tailored.
Start by thinking very hard about what’s going on in your partner’s life right now.
Have they just taken up yoga? Get them a voucher to a high-end exercise gear store.
Are they known for saving all their pennies to spend on the kids and house? Get them a voucher to a clothing store you know they love (check the labels in their closet!) so they have to spoil themselves.
Are they doing up a vintage car? How about a voucher for some antique car parts?
2. Gift an Experience*
It’s a consumer world; we already buy most material possessions we want for ourselves and there’s a new trend away from material possessions with the introduction of the minimalist thinkers around the internet.
By far, one of the most significant gifts you can give in this day and age is an experience you know your partner will love. Something that impacts them in a different way.
Again, gifting experiences requires the same careful thinking I just spoke about – a voucher for a bungee jump won’t go down well with someone who has an intense fear of heights, for example (just ask my husband who turned a lovely shade of beetroot-rage and deathly pale at all once when he was given him a skydiving voucher for his 30th).
Is your partner really into gourmet cooking? How about a cooking class for a cuisine they haven’t mastered yet?
Are they stressed and tired lately from work? What about a pampering session at a day spa (trust me, men love this as much as women do, they just generally don’t know it yet)?
Do they spend a lot of time at the driving range? How about an hour with a pro perfecting their swing?
3. Gift an Experience You Can Do Together*
Here’s where the romance factor starts to skyrocket.
There is simply no substitute for spending time with your sweetie, and we already know that science has proven doing new things together as a couple is ridiculously good for your relationship. It floods your system with happy hormones that keep you bonded and happy.
For that reason, gifting a gorgeous experience that the two of you can look forward to doing together is – in my opinion – king of all gift voucher giving and really ups the romance ante on your gift giving.
Perhaps a weekend away, language classes, or a hot air balloon ride. We obviously love our very own Melt: Massage for Couples video courses where you can get your hands all over each other in your own home night after night – it really is the gift that keeps on giving.
Whatever you choose, know that you’re doing something wonderful for your relationship. It may even seem like too much fun to be a good thing, but trust me… you can never make too many joyful memories as a couple.
*The Clincher: Wrap Something Up for a Really Romantic Gift
This is the important part and it applies to all the points above. In order to make a gift voucher the perfect romantic gift, you need to gift them along with something to unwrap. Otherwise it really is just a piece of paper or a plastic card that will sometime in the future take on its proper meaning.
A simple solution is to give something tangible along with the voucher as a little appetiser for the upcoming experience they are going to enjoy. It’s a delicious way to build anticipation and makes the gift voucher much more real immediately.
Let’s go back over some of the examples I’ve already used:
A Moroccan Cooking Class would go perfectly with some gourmet spices and a tagine pot.
A golf lesson will pair beautifully with a new leather monogrammed glove.
Give them a head start on their exercise gear voucher with a new gym bag.
When people gift our Melt: Massage for Couples vouchers to their spouse or to another couple, we encourage them to purchase a few massage essentials to package with the gift – a scented candle, a bottle of massage oil, a blindfold and a soft hand towel is everything you need (and more) to start massaging right away. You then have the added benefit of being able to start that very night.
Our Melt Gift Voucher with scented votive candle, massage oil and plush hand towel. The perfect gift.
So there you have it – the next time you’re looking for an incredibly personal and romantic gift, look no further than a gift voucher.
And in the name of shameless plugs, if you’re looking for something for your sweetie, I really do recommend you check out our Melt: Massage for Couples videos. They’re specifically designed to be a perfect gift for any couple… and couples really do love getting their hands all over each other in a whole new way.
Feel free to comment below with the gift vouchers you have in mind for upcoming celebrations, or some details about the recipient if you can’t decide what to get them. We will crowdsource some inspirational, thoughtful gift voucher ideas for you, including the tangible elements you can wrap up as the “appetizer present”.
The Definitive Guide to Gifting
Melt: Massage for Couples
Learning to massage is the perfect gift that keeps on giving. After all, the more you practice the better you get and soon you will be able to look forward to many nights of awesome back rubs, once you know where to put your hands and what to do with them. The lifetime memberships to our Melt: Massage for Couples tutorial videos make for amazing, romantic presents all on their own. But for a really incredible gift, we recommend you package them with some of the following inclusions as a special present for your partner, or for any couple that could do with a little more massage in their lives (let’s face it; who doesn’t?) You needn’t spend a lot of money on each item, but I do suggest picking one of these inclusions to be a standout while the others all play a supporting role. Here’s what we usually suggest:
I’ve listed both some cost-effective and some more luxurious options here, along with prices and links on where you can buy them online. All the items are readily available at your local store in some form or another. It’s a simple way to make a big impact – in other words, a perfect gift. And if you’ve already signed up for our lifetime membership, perhaps replenishing and upgrading your massage essentials kit will inspire some romantic nights ahead.
1. Scented Votive Candle
Providing mood lighting and a gorgeous aroma all at once, you can’t go past a decadent scented votive candle to really add ambiance to your massage, and because it’s the kind of thing people don’t generally buy for themselves, that puts it in the excellent gift category. For a luxurious choice with beautiful packaging, try this one in Moroccan Amber by Nest ($34) or Tocca in Cleopatra ($38) from Sephora.
Tocca also makes a smaller size “candelina” ($20). This Colette fragrance of sandalwood and vanilla is a favourite combination here at Melt. 
For a gorgeous, low-cost alternative then try these beautiful quality soy candles in simple jars from Mrs Meyer’s Clean Day ($9.99) 
For a bit of French flair, these Jolie Paris ($20) hand-poured soy wax candles are trés chic with their their beautifully boxed packaging, available through Amazon. 
In Australia, I’m a fan of Ecoya for their beautiful packaging and their delicious scents. Try their flagship Madison Jar ($39.95) in any fragrance (we love Lotus Flower) or the Metro Jar ($29.95) for a cheaper but still very classy option. Then there’s the supercute Mini Metro Jar ($19.95) punching above its weight with 18 hours of burn time. 
2. Massage Oil
A good quality massage oil is easy to find – you can pick it up at the drugstore or the grocery store. We’re a fan of plain carrier oils at Melt, though there are also some beautiful blended oils out there. Just be careful that neither you nor your partner have sensitive skin that will react with blended essential oils, or any aversion at all to certain essential oils (some aren’t suitable for pregnancy, for example). Do your research first. If you’re not sure about sensitivities or contraindications, you’re best to stick to plain sweet almond or grapeseed oil. Don’t worry, there are still some wonderful options. Carrier Oils
From Amazon, there’s the Kusala Life Sweet Almond Oil with its earthy, upmarket packaging and a great product to boot, with a little hint of Vitamin E in there for extra skin nourishing. It’s sourced from Non-GMO Almond kernels and it’s sub-$20. Here’s a slightly more masculine packaging with the Primitive Sweet Almond Oil – a great choice if you’re gifting Melt to the man in your life. Also all natural, also under $20. This Beauty Aura 100% Pure Grapeseed Oil is a good lower cost alternative at the $11 mark – again, all natural with no nasties and great for sensitive skins. I also really love the Hugo Naturals brand with their all-natural ingredients in both a plain carrier oil and also some exotic scent combinations. Blended Oils 
If you’re looking for a seriously sexy massage blend, the guys at Shunga do an amazing job of quality, natural massage oils. Try the one in Exotic Fruits ($13.81) for a high octane dose of aphrodisiac. Or for something deeply romantic try the Now Foods Tranquil Massage Oil ($9.37) for its rose scent and healing properties
3. Hand Towel
Any soft hand towel or even small face washer will go beautifully with this gift – personally, I love a printed one that you can keep and use just for your massages and that feels soft on the skin during the wipe off of oil. I’ve listed my top picks here for something just that little bit special, but of course you can just pick up a block colour facewasher from your local department store: Any of the printed hand towels by Missoni Home ($26) available from Amazon.
Or the classically striped hand towels in a variety of colours from Kassatex Linea Collection ($16.99) also on Amazon. 
Have you got your own ideas about what to package with Melt as a gorgeous gift? I’d love for you to comment and tell me about them so I can go and source some more fantastic suggestions for our readers!
Melt: Massage for Couples
“The Melt Set Up” Will Change the Way You Give Back Rubs Forever
There’s one particular thing we do at Melt: Massage for Couples that is very different to what every other couples massage therapist in the world will teach you.
I call it The Melt Set Up and it has been a crucial part of the way I teach massage for the better part of a decade.
If you follow my advice when you’re massaging your partner, I can promise you your massage will last longer and – most importantly – you won’t injure or strain yourself while giving these back rubs.
The One Massage Mistake Everyone Makes (Probably You, Too)
People are usually surprised when they walk into my live massage workshops and see that there are no massage tables. Most couples expect to learn the same way I teach professional massage therapists – on a massage table, lying face down… this is not the best way for couples.
In the decade I’ve been teaching couples how to massage I’ve only met a handful that own a massage table. Laying your partner out on the kitchen bench doesn’t work, and massaging on the bed is even worse! That’ll hurt the both of you.
You know, we taught thousands of couples before we were ready to film our massage routines. I wanted to make sure that we got it right; I wanted it to be perfect. Every massage video on YouTube will teach you to massage your partner facedown – but not me. I started by looking at the best way to position yourself with your partner first, and then built the massage techniques around that. It’s so much better and we call it “the Melt Set Up”
1. You’re Going to Hurt Your Own Back
The bed is a soft surface, no matter how you try and do this, the two of you on the bed at the same time is going to cause you both pain. Giving a massage when on the bed is hard work – your weight is constantly shifting around while your body does it’s best to keep you upright. It’s an ergonomic nightmare, plain and simple, it’s horrible. Stop massaging on the bed.
2. The Good Bits of Your Partner’s Body are Blocked Off
Let’s try something different… Put your device down and follow along for 20 seconds. Put both your hand on your neck, with all your fingers either side of your spine (there should be a 2 inch gap between your fingers) now with a circular motion massage your own neck, vary the pressure till it feels good – trust me, this will feel awesome.
Now, turn your head completely to the left and keep massaging… terrible, huh. This is the same position your partners head is going to be in when they’re laying front down + all the fun bits are gone too. Forget about neck massage and giving a great head massage. And the floor is totally cock-blocking you from massaging their chest. Basically anything that’s intimate and fun is lost.
3. It’s Just Not Romantic
The bedroom is a romantic place, for sure – but when it comes to massage, pfft. The Melt Set Up should be your go to move. Act like a massage therapist and you’re always going to be at arm’s length distance from your partner. There’s no intimacy in that at all.
Your job isn’t to be a massage therapist. It’s to give your partner a massage unlike any other massage therapist can do. Something that’s sweet, loving and intimate too. The Melt Set Up gets you up close and personal.
I’ve tried it all. Experimented and tested different ways of setting things up and The Melt Set Up is the perfect combination of intimacy, practicality and ergonomics. The only other things that came close were variations of the Melt Set Up.
So What Is The Melt Set Up?
The Melt Set Up will change the way you massage forever. It’s deeply romantic, incredibly intimate and, in fact, believe me when I tell you it will make your massage instantly feel better for your partner – even if you’re an absolute beginner!
The inspiration for The Melt Set Up came from the movie Ghost – you know the scene where Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore are getting all hot and heavy with the pottery? That is exactly what we’re going for here.
Denis Merkas’ Melt Set Up – The Most Romantic Way to Massage Your Partner
Sit your partner on the floor in front of you, cross-legged. You’re going to take a sturdy cushion or a small beanbag or footstool and kneel behind your partner, propping yourself up under your butt as you do so.
The cushion/footstool acts as support to take strain off your knees. Couch cushions are also great, or if you’re going to take pillows off your bed be sure and take them all – over the course of a 20 minute massage, they’ll compress down so you’ll need more than you think you do. Melt now makes our own footstools for sale via Amazon.com
Click here to find out more about our purpose-designed foot stools, along with three other home brew options that won’t cost you a cent.
Okay, so from this position we notice a few things right away:
1. You’re Very Close to Your Partner
Your torso/their back. Your mouth/their neck. Your hands/their body. It’s all in very close proximity. Much closer than your traditional massage table, where massager and massagee are placed at arm’s length. Here, you almost have full body contact. You can wrap yourself right around your partner if you like, and they’ll love it!
2. You Have Full Access to Important Massage Bits
In this position, you have unrestricted access to their shoulders, neck, head, arms, entire back and upper chest – all excellent places that are begging to be massaged.
3. You Are Comfortable
Your back is straight and not hunched, your partner doesn’t have their neck crooked off to one side, no one is falling into the other – The Melt Set Up is comfortable, and should remain so for at least the next 30 minutes, provided you’ve given yourself enough support under the butt.
It’s about a bajillion times easier to massage your partner using The Melt Set Up than it is putting them on the bed. Just give it a go tonight in front of the TV and see the difference.
Here’s what other couples have to say about using The Melt Set Up for their massages:
“I was hooked from one of the first videos when Denis talks about why he structures his massages from the sitting position instead of lying on the bed.
Before watching these videos, my husband and I always attempted back rubs on the bed, and they were never quite right, for exactly all the reasons Denis stated, I just didn’t know it then.”
“I always thought massages should be done on the bed, but glad that the reasoning for sitting was thoroughly explained. I love the beanbag idea; it works like a charm and makes giving massages seem nearly effortless.”
“My wife loves the occasional massage, and I’ve been pretty poor about offering. A big part of that has been due to hand fatigue and (I now know) physical setup. The videos have been great. They very clearly offer advice on setup (the pouffe is so much better than just sitting on my knees) and the technique – I have much less hand fatigue.”