There’s one particular thing we do at Melt: Massage for Couples that is very different to what every other couples massage therapist in the world will teach you.
I call it The Melt Set Up and it has been a crucial part of the way I teach massage for the better part of a decade.
If you follow my advice when you’re massaging your partner, I can promise you your massage will last longer and – most importantly – you won’t injure or strain yourself while giving these back rubs.
The One Massage Mistake Everyone Makes (Probably You, Too)
People are usually surprised when they walk into my live massage workshops and see that there are no massage tables. Most couples expect to learn the same way I teach professional massage therapists – on a massage table, lying face down… this is not the best way for couples.
In the decade I’ve been teaching couples how to massage I’ve only met a handful that own a massage table. Laying your partner out on the kitchen bench doesn’t work, and massaging on the bed is even worse! That’ll hurt the both of you.
You know, we taught thousands of couples before we were ready to film our massage routines. I wanted to make sure that we got it right; I wanted it to be perfect. Every massage video on YouTube will teach you to massage your partner facedown – but not me. I started by looking at the best way to position yourself with your partner first, and then built the massage techniques around that. It’s so much better and we call it “the Melt Set Up”
If you’re massaging each other face down and on the bed – you need to stop right away. Here’s why:
1. You’re Going to Hurt Your Own Back
The bed is a soft surface, no matter how you try and do this, the two of you on the bed at the same time is going to cause you both pain. Giving a massage when on the bed is hard work – your weight is constantly shifting around while your body does it’s best to keep you upright. It’s an ergonomic nightmare, plain and simple, it’s horrible. Stop massaging on the bed.
2. The Good Bits of Your Partner’s Body are Blocked Off
Let’s try something different… Put your device down and follow along for 20 seconds. Put both your hand on your neck, with all your fingers either side of your spine (there should be a 2 inch gap between your fingers) now with a circular motion massage your own neck, vary the pressure till it feels good – trust me, this will feel awesome.
Now, turn your head completely to the left and keep massaging… terrible, huh. This is the same position your partners head is going to be in when they’re laying front down + all the fun bits are gone too. Forget about neck massage and giving a great head massage. And the floor is totally cock-blocking you from massaging their chest. Basically anything that’s intimate and fun is lost.
3. It’s Just Not Romantic
The bedroom is a romantic place, for sure – but when it comes to massage, pfft. The Melt Set Up should be your go to move. Act like a massage therapist and you’re always going to be at arm’s length distance from your partner. There’s no intimacy in that at all.
Your job isn’t to be a massage therapist. It’s to give your partner a massage unlike any other massage therapist can do. Something that’s sweet, loving and intimate too. The Melt Set Up gets you up close and personal.
I’ve tried it all. Experimented and tested different ways of setting things up and The Melt Set Up is the perfect combination of intimacy, practicality and ergonomics. The only other things that came close were variations of the Melt Set Up.
I’ve been massaging for a while now and have quite the collection of massage tables at home, more than one practitioner needs. When I want to give my wife Emma, a massage – the table stays put. I’d much rather use The Melt Set Up for that.
So What Is The Melt Set Up?
The Melt Set Up will change the way you massage forever. It’s deeply romantic, incredibly intimate and, in fact, believe me when I tell you it will make your massage instantly feel better for your partner – even if you’re an absolute beginner!
The inspiration for The Melt Set Up came from the movie Ghost – you know the scene where Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore are getting all hot and heavy with the pottery? That is exactly what we’re going for here.
Sit your partner on the floor in front of you, cross-legged. You’re going to take a sturdy cushion or a small beanbag or footstool and kneel behind your partner, propping yourself up under your butt as you do so.
The cushion/footstool acts as support to take strain off your knees. Couch cushions are also great, or if you’re going to take pillows off your bed be sure and take them all – over the course of a 20 minute massage, they’ll compress down so you’ll need more than you think you do. Melt now makes our own footstools for sale via Amazon.com
Okay, so from this position we notice a few things right away:
1. You’re Very Close to Your Partner
Your torso/their back. Your mouth/their neck. Your hands/their body. It’s all in very close proximity. Much closer than your traditional massage table, where massager and massagee are placed at arm’s length. Here, you almost have full body contact. You can wrap yourself right around your partner if you like, and they’ll love it!
2. You Have Full Access to Important Massage Bits
In this position, you have unrestricted access to their shoulders, neck, head, arms, entire back and upper chest – all excellent places that are begging to be massaged.
3. You Are Comfortable
Your back is straight and not hunched, your partner doesn’t have their neck crooked off to one side, no one is falling into the other – The Melt Set Up is comfortable, and should remain so for at least the next 30 minutes, provided you’ve given yourself enough support under the butt.
It’s about a bajillion times easier to massage your partner using The Melt Set Up than it is putting them on the bed. Just give it a go tonight in front of the TV and see the difference.
Here’s what other couples have to say about using The Melt Set Up for their massages:
“Before watching these videos, my husband and I always attempted back rubs on the bed, and they were never quite right”
“I was hooked from one of the first videos when Denis talks about why he structures his massages from the sitting position instead of lying on the bed.
Before watching these videos, my husband and I always attempted back rubs on the bed, and they were never quite right, for exactly all the reasons Denis stated, I just didn’t know it then.”
“I always thought massages should be done on the bed”
“I always thought massages should be done on the bed, but glad that the reasoning for sitting was thoroughly explained. I love the beanbag idea; it works like a charm and makes giving massages seem nearly effortless.”
“My wife loves the occasional massage, and I’ve been pretty poor about offering. A big part of that has been due to hand fatigue”
“My wife loves the occasional massage, and I’ve been pretty poor about offering. A big part of that has been due to hand fatigue and (I now know) physical setup. The videos have been great. They very clearly offer advice on setup (the pouffe is so much better than just sitting on my knees) and the technique – I have much less hand fatigue.”