Who says the romance has to die after the honeymoon phase? (Well, all the experts do but what do they know anyhow?)
If you’re serious about your relationship, chances are you already know how important date night is for long-term couples.
What you might not know is that there are certain rules to successful date nights that don’t involve eating the same old Thai green curry followed by a movie week after week.
What you’re aiming for with any good date night is novelty. Trying new things is good for you as a couple!
With just a little bit of effort, you can seriously up the ante on the romance factor in your date nights. Try organizing just one of these amazing romantic date ideas for date night this week and watch your sweetie melt.
We’ve compiled this mega-list of romantic date ideas so you’ll never run out of inspiration. This is an entire year’s worth of date ideas, and every single one of them, done right, is devastatingly swoon-worthy.
1. Cook a 3-Course Meal
Go all out one night at home and plan a three-course menu for dinner full of your partner’s favourite foods. Print up a menu card for your sweetie, set the table with candles and flowers and play soft music in the background. Get dressed up. Consider a waltz around the living room after dessert.
2. Have a Picnic
Pack a picnic basket with yummy deli treats. Think gourmet dips, artisan breads, beautiful cheeses and a bottle of wine. Find a secluded spot in a park, spread out a blanket and laze around together for the afternoon. Take a book or a magazine and some tunes. Chat. Roll around on the grass.
3. Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Rent an old wooden rowboat from a nearby boathouse. Float around together on the waterway, feeding the ducks. Pack a thermos of coffee or tea and some scones. Bonus points for rummaging up a parasol.
4. The Drive-in Movies
A classic romantic date idea for two. Find a drive in movie theatre and head to watch a feature movie together in your car. Wash your windscreen so you can see clearly. Take your date for burgers and milkshakes first… Two straws, one shake. Natch.
5. Massage Your Date
It’s no secret we think this is an amazing romantic date night. Treat your sweetie to a decadent, pampering massage at home. Light candles, pick up some quality massage oil and rub them up in the most delicious way.
6. Take a Bath Together
Dress up your bathroom ready for a romantic night (be sure to remove all traces of kids’ toys). Put out fresh towels, draw a steamy bubble bath and sink into the warm water together with a bottle of sparkling wine and gentle romantic music. Candles are a must. Wash each other’s backs; perhaps treat each other to a foot rub. Towel dry and anoint each other with a decadent moisturiser when you’re done.
7. The Star Gazing Date
Gazing at the stars together is one of those truly romantic date ideas ideal for any dreamy couple. Take a drive away from city lights and equip yourself with a torch and a constellation map of the night sky, available from Sky Maps for free. Search the heavens for constellations, all from a blanket on the bonnet of your car.
8. Farmer’s Market
Spend a leisurely morning hand-in-hand, soaking up sunshine and produce at your local farmer’s market. Order organic coffees, tuck into a hot bacon and egg roll and stock up on some produce to cook an amazing weekend lunch for two, or perhaps a picnic.
9. Striptease
Turn down the lights and get your sexy on for your lucky sweetheart. Think lingerie, stockings, heels and a few well-chosen layers to peel off one at a time. For the men, break out your best pair of boxer briefs and leave the black socks off! Put on a seductive song and treat your partner to a private peep show.
10. Skinny Dipping
A deserted pool or lake, moonlight rippling on the water, a balmy summer’s night… dare to dip naked together, there’s nothing quite like the kiss of cool water on exposed flesh.
11. Cook Dinner Together
Get messy together in the kitchen as you tackle a recipe you’ve never tried before. Open a bottle of wine, put on your favourite tunes and dance around while you whip up a gourmet feast. Feed each other from the pot. Eat together by candlelight before getting back in there to do the washing up.
12. Outdoor Makeout Session
Make like teenagers and head outdoors for a hot and heavy pashing (that’s Aussie for ‘making out’) session under the stars. Find a secluded park, a dark beach or maybe just a blanket in your own backyard.
13. Midnight Picnic
Pack a picnic to enjoy together at midnight in the middle of summer – one of our favorite romantic date ideas. This could involve a cheese plate and dessert wine, chocolate cake and a thermos of hot tea or go all out with your favourite midnight snack foods like mac and cheese.
14. Nature Walk
Stroll hand in hand through the beauty of nature. Such a wholesome, ideal way spend an afternoon – it doesn’t matter if it’s a warm sunny day, or the middle of winter. Simply dress appropriately, pack some snacks and breathe in your surroundings on a scenic walking trail. Don’t forget to stop and marvel at all the miraculous wonders along the way.
15. Go Parking
Take a night drive to the local Lover’s Lane or lookout area. Jump into the backseat of the car together and fool around a little.
16. Reminisce with Home Movies
Record some memories. Take a video camera to your favourite meaningful places – where you first met, had your first date, the doorstep of the first tiny apartment you moved into together and film each other, documentary style, as you reminisce about those moments in time that were so very special. Store them to watch later.
17. Salsa Class
Sign up for a salsa class and learn the art of this sexy Latin street dancing. Get close, get sweaty, gyrate. Be sure to practice your new moves back home in the privacy of your living room afterwards where you can really get steamy.
18. Tango Class
More intense than salsa, a tango class is nothing but pure romance on legs. Think full body contact and deep eye gazes.
19. Watch the Sunrise
Wake your date up before dawn and sneak out of the house to enjoy the miracle of a sunrise huddled together in a blanket, followed by a hot breakfast.
20. Memory Lane
All those photos in your albums and you probably haven’t looked at them in years. Sit down for a night on memory lane, featuring your life together.
21. Fireworks
When is the next fireworks night near you? Find out and go with a blanket and a night picnic for a nice change from the TV. Lie flat on your backs to watch as the waterfalls of colour rain over you.
22. Live Jazz Music
Enjoy some great live music at a local jazz club. There’s something very romantic about a table for two, dimmed lights and the sound of a deep double bass and saxophone crooning in the background. Classic romance.
23. Dessert Only Date
This is one of those romantic date ideas that you can’t get enough of. Eat dinner at home as per usual, then head to a fancy, cozy restaurant and order dessert only. The decadence of sugar, chocolate and spoon-feeding each other will whip you into a romance frenzy. And it’s friendly on the budget too.
24. Holiday House
Seek out friends or family members who have a holiday house or live in a different location and ask for a loaner house or a house swap for the weekend. Perhaps your city pad can provide a great getaway for your beachside friends and vice versa? Spend the weekend together in a completely new space. Eat good food, have intense conversations and laze around in bed.
25. Private Outdoor Cinema
Set up your own outdoor cinema in the backyard with a laptop, a picnic blanket, some oversized cushions and a warm summer night. Complete it with all the usual movie snacks – popcorn, red vines, chocolate… perhaps even add wine (because why not?)
26. Backyard Tent Fantasy
Rig up an old sheet or a mosquito net in the backyard and create a mini harem tent for two. Add oversized pillows, soft blankets, candles and fairy lights, platters of fruit and cheese and romantic music. Spend the night under the stars. Sleep there if you feel so inclined.
27. Foot Rub
Treat your partner to a decadent foot massage at home. Start by letting them soak their feet in warm water while you bring them a hot tea or cheeky glass of wine. Once those tootsies are clean and soft, use lotion or oil to send your partner to heaven with a detailed foot massage and watch them melt.
28. Day Spa at Home
Set aside an afternoon for some day spa style pampering at home. Put whale songs on, don fluffy robes and drink herbal tea while you play therapist to each other. Think body scrubs, hair treatments, mud masks and mini massages. Complete the experience with a fruit plate or a paleo lunch.
29. Breakfast in Bed
Slip out from between the sheets early one weekend and go prepare a lovely breakfast to serve to your beau/beauette in bed. Do something a little more special than the every day breakfast. Pancakes, scrambled eggs, French toast, fresh strawberries… all excellent options. Include coffee (or tea), OJ and a flower on the tray. Extra brownie points for bringing their favorite morning paper or periodical.
30. Read to Each Other
Select your favorite literature or poetry book from your shelf and spend a night curled up on the couch reading passages you love to each other. Some of the greatest love stories and most stirring passages will sound amazing from your partner’s lips.
31. A Night in Italy
Fly your sweetie’s imagination right to Naples with a special Italian-themed night for two, a bellissima alternative to a normal dinner at home. Start with the menu; think making homemade pizzas together while a romantic accordion track plays in the background, or sampling pasta sauce right from the pot to the sounds of Pavarotti. After your candlelit Italian feast, sit down to a foreign movie. Some Italian-themed classics include: Roman Holiday. Life is Beautiful or the more modern Under the Tuscan Sun.
32. A Night in India
Described as the most romantic country in Asia, exotic India is certainly an apt choice for a themed dinner at home. Make velvety butter chicken from scratch (or order in from your local) paired with crisp naan bread and mango lassi (spike this with rum if your heart desires). Spread a sari out on your dining table, string some pink lamps up and feast to the meditative strains of a sitar. Screen Bollywood classic post-dinner, or a movie set in India – Life of Pi comes to mind.
33. Amusement Park
Find a vintage amusement park and spend a night winning oversized toys at the ring toss, sharing sticky cotton candy and snuggling on the ferris wheel for a throwback to old school romance. Make sure to squeal and hold each other tight on the rollercoasters.
34. Walk the Beach
Next time you find yourself by the seaside, take the time to slip off your shoes and walk the shoreline hand in hand. Collect shells, etch your initials into the sand and dream of far off horizons. Sunset optional.
35. A Night at the Opera
Organize tickets to the opera for a night out with a difference. Go all out and get really dressed up – the opera is one of the last places you can wear long gloves and an evening gown, after all – and sit to enjoy one of the classics. Romantic choices include Madame Butterfly, The Marriage of Figaro and Carmen.
36. Write a Song Together
If you happen to have a guitar or a piano around the house, try writing a love song together one night. Tinker with a melody, come up with a catchy chorus and some verses then perform it together as a duet. Who cares if you can’t sing?
37. Outdoor Cinema
There’s nothing quite like watching a movie under the stars from a picnic blanket. Many local parks now have outdoor cinemas throughout the warmer months. Take your own snacks and oversized pillows and snuggle together through some romantic cinema.
38. Dance Under the Moonlight
Take your favorite playlist of songs to dance to, grab your sweetie and head outside to dance barefoot in the moonlight together. Organise some wine and and a dessert picnic to really up the romance ante.
39. Play in the Rain
Next time it’s raining, instead of huddling indoors to stay dry – get out there in it! Don your rain-boots and coat (or don’t) and go splash in puddles together. Kissing in the rain has been romantic ever since… well, forever. Dry each other off and make hot cocoa afterwards.
40. Treasure Hunt
Send your sweetie on a romantic treasure hunt – pick up some trinkets (they don’t have to be expensive… think of your partner’s favorite chocolate bar, the latest copy of a magazine they love, write cute love notes, a gift voucher for a store) and hide them all over your house or garden, then deliver your partner some clues to help them find everything.
Bonus points for theming it. For example, have them find everything they would need for a relaxing soak in a hot bath – salts, chilled music, a good book, a rubber duck, loose rose petals – and then leave them to it in the bathroom afterwards.
41. Camp in the Backyard
Sleep overnight in your backyard together. Beg, borrow or dig out your camping equipment, or create a magical makeshift tent with some old sheets and string. Light a drum fire, roast marshmallows, tell ghost stories and don’t go back inside if you can help it! Cook breakfast on the BBQ the next morning.
42. Loungeroom Floor Picnic
The dining table is overrated. Set up everything you need for a picnic in your very own living room one night for dinner with a twist. Pack it all into a basket, light some candles and kick off your shoes. Perfect for the colder months.
43. Relive Your First Date
Retrace your steps as a couple and recreate your very first date. Surprise your partner by whisking them back in time. What year was it? What music were you listening to (playlist) then? Did you pick them up or meet them there? Do you remember what you ordered? What you were wearing? What you talked about?
44. Pretend You’re Meeting for the First Time
Have your partner get dressed up and go to a bar alone. You’re going to meet them there, with a twist – pretend you’re meeting for the very first time. Be yourselves; or come up with entirely new personalities. Choose your own adventure. Maybe even go home with them that night…!
45. Get Super Dressed Up for Dinner
Whether it’s dinner at home or you make reservations for a fancy restaurant, break out of your usual routine by getting really dressed up for the occasion. If you possibly can, get ready at separate locations to help enhance the anticipation.
46. Dinner and Dancing
Do you love to dance? Indulge in one of the classic romantic date ideas with a dinner-and-dancing night. Find a good venue – jazz clubs are a great choice, or your local dance school may hold weekend social nights where everyone is invited to take the floor. Get all Fred and Ginger!
47. Check into a Hotel
Save up your pennies and spend a night at a hotel together for a change of scenery. You don’t have to stray too far from home. Order room service, don fluffy robes, have a drink in the hotel bar. It’s one fantasy night away from your everyday life.
48. Play Pool in a Seedy Pub
It doesn’t look like the makings of a passionate night at first glance, but actually this low-key date idea has so many opportunities for romance. Find a seedy pub and commandeer the pool table. Order some drinks and challenge each other to a few rounds of pool. Place saucy bets on the outcome. Not good at pool? No worries, have your sweetie show you exactly how to handle the cue. Put your favorite songs on the jukebox. Flirt outrageously.
49. Have Cocktails in a Gorgeous Bar
Find the fanciest bar in town and head there for some exotic cocktails. Take to a lounge in a dark corner or sit right at the bar for some interaction with the bartender.
50. Stage a Photoshoot
Make some new memories together – take a camera with a self-timer and a tripod, get yourselves dressed nice and have a little photoshoot together. Pick a garden, beach or urban location you like. Have other people snap you together too. Do a few selfies. Frame your favorites!
51. Sketch Each Other
Spend a night at home with a blank sketchpad and graphite pencils, sketching each other in the name of art. Even if you aren’t necessarily great at drawing, look up some tutorials online and give it a go! It can be abstract. It can be bad. If you’re feeling espeically frisky, get all Titanic and sketch each other naked.
52. Go Fruit Picking
A dreamy afternoon wandering fruit orchards in the dappled sunlight? Yes, please! Whatever the season, there will be fruit ripe for the picking somewhere. Many orchards will let you in to pick your own apples, strawberries, oranges. Once you’ve selected the ripest, juiciest fruits (and quite possibly fed a few to each other along the way) head home and whip them up into some sort of pie or dessert concoction.
We Experimented With a Blindfold, and This is What We Found
There’s no denying it, being blindfolded is a seriously sexy experience.
For this very reason, incorporating a blindfold into your romantic massage routine is something we wholeheartedly recommend at Melt.
Your partner may be a little tentative or shy at first, but if you can reassure them that you’ll take care of everything for them once they give up some control then using a blindfold can also become a gorgeous exercise in building trust for you both.
Your brain will focus that much more intently on every caress, every touch, every breath across your neck… your skin will tingle deliciously under your partner’s hands and – regardless of their level of massage expertise – we can guarantee it will feel amazing. It’s actually a great little hack for beginner massagers.
Over the course of our little blindfold trial, we found a few things that worked and a few things that didn’t. Here are our top tips for incorporating a blindfold into your next couples massage, for maximum effect:
1. Find the right blindfold
We love a silky satin sash. Thin scarves in soft fabric work too, or eye masks from your last airplane trip. If you want to go all out as a sexy gift, find something special, such as this gorgeous handcrafted leather and silk chiffon one with lace detail from Porte a Vie.
2. Use the element of surprise
One of our favourite moves is the surprise massage. Distract your partner by doing something utterly lovely for them first; for instance, try running a bubble bath for them to soak in.
While your sweetie is relaxing in their bathroom sanctuary (preferably complete with candles, soft music, wine, and a good book), run around and set up your massage space. You can use our romantic massage checklist to make sure you have everything you need on hand.
Go to collect them from the bathroom with your blindfold in hand. Let them dry off, then explain you have a little surprise for them and slip the fabric over their eyes.
3. Gain their trust and don’t break it
Once you’ve got your partner, take them carefully to the massage room. Don’t let them bump into walls, or trip over things and do not under any circumstances leave them alone with the blindfold on! Be gentle, talk them through what you’re doing and stay very close to them at all times. They’ll likely be giggling and nervous, your job is to make them relaxed.
By all means, start with some food and wine – feed them strawberries and chocolate, treat them to sips of wine, all while blindfolded. It’s a beautiful, sensual way to start your teasing seduction.
4. Stop while you’re ahead
Begin your massage with your partner blindfolded. They’ll love it, and should become very relaxed right off the bat. Once you feel like they’re really enjoying themselves (the clues are in the body language – if they’re slumped back into you, docile and jelly-like, you’re on the right track!) then you can slide the blindfold off and let them see the romantic massage space you’ve created. If you indeed followed our checklist, they should find themselves in a candlelit haven of pillows, towels and dim lights. And they will be all the more blown away for it.
The blindfold is a great starter gimmick to enhance your massage, but you don’t need to let it go on too long, there’s a lot to be said for changing things up halfway through and letting them drink in the rest of the experience with their eyes too.
Before You Buy Massage Oil, Read This
Massage oil. Do you really need it for a good massage? The short answer is: yes, you do.
With the right consistency oil will help make your hands feel delicious, allowing you to effortlessly contour along your partners muscles helping you find knots and areas of tension using long flowing strokes. Massage oil will make your massage exceptional – the way professional practitioners make it feel so good!
Not to mention, it’s nourishing and conditions your skin. Used correctly it’ll will help foster a deep connection between the two of you.
Here’s everything you need to know before you buy a massage oil.
Oil, Not Lotion.
We use massage oil because lotion absorbs too quickly into the skin. A high grade massage oil, on the other hand, will take longer to sink into your partner’s skin, meaning more hands-on time with them and less mucking around with going back to the bottle.
And don’t even think about getting that lube-meets massage oil hybrid that you see on the drugstore shelves. It feels terrible leaving a dry sticky residue on your skin and does nothing for your massage techniques. Ick, ick, ick. Just nope.
Which Massage Oils to Buy
Sweet Almond is Denis’ favourite (the creator of Melt Massage for Couples – read about us). Cold pressed is a must, do not buy if its not cold pressed – this method of extraction retains the nutrients within the oil. Your skin absorbs oil, we want all those nutrients.
We call it our Naked Oil – nothing but 100% Sweet Almond Oil, and ya – it’s cold pressed, no preservatives and no additives.
Denis’ Oil comes with a Free Massage Course – read more about his “Fix Your Massage Mistakes” course here. The beginning of your massage is so important to establish a connection with your partner, it will literally make or break your experience. There’s no need to get it wrong – sign up to his free course to learn how to get it right on your first time.
If You’re Allergic to Nuts
Sweet almond oil shouldn’t irritate the skin, and can be used on all parts of the body. But for some people with nut allergies, it’s recommended to use an alternative.
In this case, we recommend a cold pressed grapeseed oil or apricot oil. This may be a bit harder to find, but again your health food store should have it.
Where to Buy
It’s on Amazon, with over 723 reviews!
Our oil bottle is a MASSIVE 16oz, and it’s cheaper than most 8oz bottle on Amazon
Included in the price:
Essential Oils
Sweet Almond Oil is a carrier oil. A neutral base to use on any skin, with no added scents or essential oils.
Some companies sell pre-blended massage oils, which are essentially a carrier oil – or a combination of a few carrier oils – with a few drops of essential oil thrown in there. Read the bottle, many of these have preservatives and additives that you don’t want on your body.
Essential oils are wonderful additions to massage oils, each with their own unique properties.
You can make your own scented oil by adding a few drops of any pure essential oil to your bottle of carrier oil. Be careful, pure essential oils are potent and can irritate some skins. The smell can also either attract or repulse you, depending on personal preferences.
Make sure both you and your partner are happy with the smell before you start mixing it or massaging with it. Also patch test some of your finalised blend on your skin to make sure it doesn’t irritate.
Some ideal scents for getting you in a romantic massage mood are: sandalwood (woody, exotic, soothing), rose (the quintessential romance fragrance), vanilla (smells good enough to eat, is an aphrodisiac to boot) or ylang ylang (used a lot due to it’s strong aphrodisiac properties but I personally find it really cloying. Thought I’d include it anyway).
How to Store Massage Oil
Your massage oil will last a long time if stored correctly – store in a cool, dark place away from direct light or heat. Dark or opaque containers are also a great idea for storing massage oils.
You’ll know when your oil has gone off – you can smell it immediately. Fresh base / carrier oil has almost no smell.
If you buy Melt’s 16oz Oils – fill up the baby bottle and store the large 16oz bottle in the fridge for longer shelf life. Top up the baby bottle as needed. Clever huh! The best of both worlds – the convenience of a small bottle with the value of bulk oil.
Dry Massage
It’s doable, on small surface areas. Such as specific knots, or a head massage.
You wont be able to do long sweeping strokes that feel amazingly relaxing. It takes a lot of practice to make dry massages work in a pleasing way. Denis will only ever do a dry massage if he’s treating a problem for a very short amount of time. 99.9% of his practice incorporates oil.
Massage through clothes follows the dry massage principle. It’s better than nothing, but it will strip away any intimacy and fun that comes with an oil based massage.
9 Small Romantic Things to Do For Your Man (Today)
Romance isn’t all red roses and stuffed teddy bears. In fact, many would argue that particular ideal of romance is outdated and a bit clichéd these days.
All that said, there are ways to infuse some romance into your everyday life with very little effort.
Our list here today of romantic things to do for your boyfriend/husband/lover comprises of small gestures that will make him melt. Most of them require very little preparation – we guarantee you can execute more than a handful of these right away (and the great news is, you only need to do one!). Go ahead, sweep him off his feet. Make a mental note to try a new one each week or so to watch him smile.
1. Make him heart-shaped pancakes. Or eggs. Or bacon.
It’s a thoroughly silly way to start his day – his favorite breakfast with a cute romantic twist. What does he love to eat? Go out of your way to get up early and prepare it for him. If it’s pancakes or eggs, simply get yourself a heart-shaped mould you can pop into the frypan (cheap and available online with some advance planning).
If bacon has his heart, arrange the strips into a cute message or shape for him. Don’t forget his choice breakfast beverage – bonus points for picking up an artisan tea, single origin coffee or freshly squeezing the OJ.
2. Send a love note along to work with him
Secretly write a quick little love note and tuck it into his work satchel, his pocket or his wallet for him to find later on. It can be a silly poem (Roses are red/Grass is green/I want you in my bed/If you know what I mean) a funny sentiment (I love you with all my butt. I’d say my heart, but my butt is bigger) or simply something sweet that will make him smile (Thanks for being you, you’re amazing. I’m so lucky you’re my husband. I can’t wait to see you tonight.)
3. Have flowers delivered
Men hardly ever gets bouquets delivered at work. Guess what? They love it just as much as we do. They pretend not to, but trust me. Who wouldn’t feel special to see a gorgeous bunch of blooms turn up and know someone loves them enough to send it? It’s one of the most romantic things to do for a person – crazy impractical, extremely thoughtful and nothing in it for you at all. If flowers really aren’t his thing, send a dozen manly cupcakes (bourbon soaked, perhaps?) or find somewhere that delivers bacon roses!
4. Buy his favourite chocolate bar and a magazine
If you’re at the grocery store, pick up a treat you know he loves and leave it at home for him when he walks in the door. I like to procure my husband’s favorite chocolate bar and place it on top of a car magazine. Maybe it’s a six-pack of an artisan beer and a copy of GQ, maybe it’s a box of cookies and a DIY periodical. Whatever it is, make sure you give him some alone time to take a break and enjoy it.
5. Give him a foot rub in front of the TV
Has he been on his feet all day? Been training hard with his sports team? I bet he’d love a foot rub. The great thing about giving a foot massage is that you can do it in front of his favorite TV show without much fanfare. Wait until he’s had a shower and is nice and clean, then settle yourself on the couch with some massage oil or even a decadent foot cream and treat his toes to a little loving. Alternate between full hand, comforting pressure and getting into the nitty-gritty spots with your thumbs and fingers. Watch his face to get an idea of what he likes – and then do more of it! Don’t forget his calves, he’ll go nuts for it.
6. Set him up to watch the game
Is his team playing? Do a little groundwork and set him up to watch it in style. Pick up some of his team flags, stock up on snacks (peanuts, hot dogs, popcorn, whatever his poison) and consider arranging a delivery of hot wings or pizza for half time. Invite a couple of his buddies over if you think he’ll like that, and then either make yourself scarce or, if you love sports too, sit with him and cheer them on.
7. Dress up for him
Men are visual creatures with specific tastes. When was the last time you donned some sexy lingerie to get his heart racing? Rustle up your lingerie sets or buy yourself something new that you know he’ll like. If you’re not sure, take him shopping with you to get his opinion on what he wants to see you in. Then get home, put it on and strut around the house in it for as long as you can before he can’t contain himself any longer.
8. Whisk him on a fun date night
Text him ahead of time and tell him you’d like to take him on a date tonight. Think of something creative you know he’d love to do – a competitive night at the bowling alley with some fried food, a few rounds of pool at a dive bar or to the video game arcade to be big kids.
9. Three course meal by candlelight
Make a special dinner full of his most-loved dishes and serve it by candlelight for a romantic twist on the regular weeknight dinner at home. If you’re feeling extra amorous, write up a little menu, get out the crystal wine glasses and really set the scene. Don a slinky dress and some lipstick. Serve three courses to the strains of his favourite chilled playlist and enjoy a little night in for two.
52 Ridiculously Romantic Date Ideas for Any Couple
Who says the romance has to die after the honeymoon phase? (Well, all the experts do but what do they know anyhow?)
If you’re serious about your relationship, chances are you already know how important date night is for long-term couples.
What you might not know is that there are certain rules to successful date nights that don’t involve eating the same old Thai green curry followed by a movie week after week.
With just a little bit of effort, you can seriously up the ante on the romance factor in your date nights. Try organizing just one of these amazing romantic date ideas for date night this week and watch your sweetie melt.
We’ve compiled this mega-list of romantic date ideas so you’ll never run out of inspiration. This is an entire year’s worth of date ideas, and every single one of them, done right, is devastatingly swoon-worthy.
1. Cook a 3-Course Meal
Go all out one night at home and plan a three-course menu for dinner full of your partner’s favourite foods. Print up a menu card for your sweetie, set the table with candles and flowers and play soft music in the background. Get dressed up. Consider a waltz around the living room after dessert.
2. Have a Picnic
Pack a picnic basket with yummy deli treats. Think gourmet dips, artisan breads, beautiful cheeses and a bottle of wine. Find a secluded spot in a park, spread out a blanket and laze around together for the afternoon. Take a book or a magazine and some tunes. Chat. Roll around on the grass.
3. Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Rent an old wooden rowboat from a nearby boathouse. Float around together on the waterway, feeding the ducks. Pack a thermos of coffee or tea and some scones. Bonus points for rummaging up a parasol.
4. The Drive-in Movies
A classic romantic date idea for two. Find a drive in movie theatre and head to watch a feature movie together in your car. Wash your windscreen so you can see clearly. Take your date for burgers and milkshakes first… Two straws, one shake. Natch.
6. Take a Bath Together
Dress up your bathroom ready for a romantic night (be sure to remove all traces of kids’ toys). Put out fresh towels, draw a steamy bubble bath and sink into the warm water together with a bottle of sparkling wine and gentle romantic music. Candles are a must. Wash each other’s backs; perhaps treat each other to a foot rub. Towel dry and anoint each other with a decadent moisturiser when you’re done.
7. The Star Gazing Date
Gazing at the stars together is one of those truly romantic date ideas ideal for any dreamy couple. Take a drive away from city lights and equip yourself with a torch and a constellation map of the night sky, available from Sky Maps for free. Search the heavens for constellations, all from a blanket on the bonnet of your car.
8. Farmer’s Market
Spend a leisurely morning hand-in-hand, soaking up sunshine and produce at your local farmer’s market. Order organic coffees, tuck into a hot bacon and egg roll and stock up on some produce to cook an amazing weekend lunch for two, or perhaps a picnic.
9. Striptease
Turn down the lights and get your sexy on for your lucky sweetheart. Think lingerie, stockings, heels and a few well-chosen layers to peel off one at a time. For the men, break out your best pair of boxer briefs and leave the black socks off! Put on a seductive song and treat your partner to a private peep show.
10. Skinny Dipping
A deserted pool or lake, moonlight rippling on the water, a balmy summer’s night… dare to dip naked together, there’s nothing quite like the kiss of cool water on exposed flesh.
11. Cook Dinner Together
Get messy together in the kitchen as you tackle a recipe you’ve never tried before. Open a bottle of wine, put on your favourite tunes and dance around while you whip up a gourmet feast. Feed each other from the pot. Eat together by candlelight before getting back in there to do the washing up.
12. Outdoor Makeout Session
Make like teenagers and head outdoors for a hot and heavy pashing (that’s Aussie for ‘making out’) session under the stars. Find a secluded park, a dark beach or maybe just a blanket in your own backyard.
13. Midnight Picnic
Pack a picnic to enjoy together at midnight in the middle of summer – one of our favorite romantic date ideas. This could involve a cheese plate and dessert wine, chocolate cake and a thermos of hot tea or go all out with your favourite midnight snack foods like mac and cheese.
14. Nature Walk
Stroll hand in hand through the beauty of nature. Such a wholesome, ideal way spend an afternoon – it doesn’t matter if it’s a warm sunny day, or the middle of winter. Simply dress appropriately, pack some snacks and breathe in your surroundings on a scenic walking trail. Don’t forget to stop and marvel at all the miraculous wonders along the way.
15. Go Parking
Take a night drive to the local Lover’s Lane or lookout area. Jump into the backseat of the car together and fool around a little.
16. Reminisce with Home Movies
Record some memories. Take a video camera to your favourite meaningful places – where you first met, had your first date, the doorstep of the first tiny apartment you moved into together and film each other, documentary style, as you reminisce about those moments in time that were so very special. Store them to watch later.
17. Salsa Class
Sign up for a salsa class and learn the art of this sexy Latin street dancing. Get close, get sweaty, gyrate. Be sure to practice your new moves back home in the privacy of your living room afterwards where you can really get steamy.
18. Tango Class
More intense than salsa, a tango class is nothing but pure romance on legs. Think full body contact and deep eye gazes.
19. Watch the Sunrise
Wake your date up before dawn and sneak out of the house to enjoy the miracle of a sunrise huddled together in a blanket, followed by a hot breakfast.
20. Memory Lane
All those photos in your albums and you probably haven’t looked at them in years. Sit down for a night on memory lane, featuring your life together.
21. Fireworks
When is the next fireworks night near you? Find out and go with a blanket and a night picnic for a nice change from the TV. Lie flat on your backs to watch as the waterfalls of colour rain over you.
22. Live Jazz Music
Enjoy some great live music at a local jazz club. There’s something very romantic about a table for two, dimmed lights and the sound of a deep double bass and saxophone crooning in the background. Classic romance.
23. Dessert Only Date
This is one of those romantic date ideas that you can’t get enough of. Eat dinner at home as per usual, then head to a fancy, cozy restaurant and order dessert only. The decadence of sugar, chocolate and spoon-feeding each other will whip you into a romance frenzy. And it’s friendly on the budget too.
24. Holiday House
Seek out friends or family members who have a holiday house or live in a different location and ask for a loaner house or a house swap for the weekend. Perhaps your city pad can provide a great getaway for your beachside friends and vice versa? Spend the weekend together in a completely new space. Eat good food, have intense conversations and laze around in bed.
25. Private Outdoor Cinema
Set up your own outdoor cinema in the backyard with a laptop, a picnic blanket, some oversized cushions and a warm summer night. Complete it with all the usual movie snacks – popcorn, red vines, chocolate… perhaps even add wine (because why not?)
26. Backyard Tent Fantasy
Rig up an old sheet or a mosquito net in the backyard and create a mini harem tent for two. Add oversized pillows, soft blankets, candles and fairy lights, platters of fruit and cheese and romantic music. Spend the night under the stars. Sleep there if you feel so inclined.
27. Foot Rub
Treat your partner to a decadent foot massage at home. Start by letting them soak their feet in warm water while you bring them a hot tea or cheeky glass of wine. Once those tootsies are clean and soft, use lotion or oil to send your partner to heaven with a detailed foot massage and watch them melt.
28. Day Spa at Home
Set aside an afternoon for some day spa style pampering at home. Put whale songs on, don fluffy robes and drink herbal tea while you play therapist to each other. Think body scrubs, hair treatments, mud masks and mini massages. Complete the experience with a fruit plate or a paleo lunch.
29. Breakfast in Bed
Slip out from between the sheets early one weekend and go prepare a lovely breakfast to serve to your beau/beauette in bed. Do something a little more special than the every day breakfast. Pancakes, scrambled eggs, French toast, fresh strawberries… all excellent options. Include coffee (or tea), OJ and a flower on the tray. Extra brownie points for bringing their favorite morning paper or periodical.
30. Read to Each Other
Select your favorite literature or poetry book from your shelf and spend a night curled up on the couch reading passages you love to each other. Some of the greatest love stories and most stirring passages will sound amazing from your partner’s lips.
31. A Night in Italy
Fly your sweetie’s imagination right to Naples with a special Italian-themed night for two, a bellissima alternative to a normal dinner at home. Start with the menu; think making homemade pizzas together while a romantic accordion track plays in the background, or sampling pasta sauce right from the pot to the sounds of Pavarotti. After your candlelit Italian feast, sit down to a foreign movie. Some Italian-themed classics include: Roman Holiday. Life is Beautiful or the more modern Under the Tuscan Sun.
32. A Night in India
Described as the most romantic country in Asia, exotic India is certainly an apt choice for a themed dinner at home. Make velvety butter chicken from scratch (or order in from your local) paired with crisp naan bread and mango lassi (spike this with rum if your heart desires). Spread a sari out on your dining table, string some pink lamps up and feast to the meditative strains of a sitar. Screen Bollywood classic post-dinner, or a movie set in India – Life of Pi comes to mind.
33. Amusement Park
Find a vintage amusement park and spend a night winning oversized toys at the ring toss, sharing sticky cotton candy and snuggling on the ferris wheel for a throwback to old school romance. Make sure to squeal and hold each other tight on the rollercoasters.
34. Walk the Beach
Next time you find yourself by the seaside, take the time to slip off your shoes and walk the shoreline hand in hand. Collect shells, etch your initials into the sand and dream of far off horizons. Sunset optional.
35. A Night at the Opera
Organize tickets to the opera for a night out with a difference. Go all out and get really dressed up – the opera is one of the last places you can wear long gloves and an evening gown, after all – and sit to enjoy one of the classics. Romantic choices include Madame Butterfly, The Marriage of Figaro and Carmen.
36. Write a Song Together
If you happen to have a guitar or a piano around the house, try writing a love song together one night. Tinker with a melody, come up with a catchy chorus and some verses then perform it together as a duet. Who cares if you can’t sing?
37. Outdoor Cinema
There’s nothing quite like watching a movie under the stars from a picnic blanket. Many local parks now have outdoor cinemas throughout the warmer months. Take your own snacks and oversized pillows and snuggle together through some romantic cinema.
38. Dance Under the Moonlight
Take your favorite playlist of songs to dance to, grab your sweetie and head outside to dance barefoot in the moonlight together. Organise some wine and and a dessert picnic to really up the romance ante.
39. Play in the Rain
Next time it’s raining, instead of huddling indoors to stay dry – get out there in it! Don your rain-boots and coat (or don’t) and go splash in puddles together. Kissing in the rain has been romantic ever since… well, forever. Dry each other off and make hot cocoa afterwards.
40. Treasure Hunt
Send your sweetie on a romantic treasure hunt – pick up some trinkets (they don’t have to be expensive… think of your partner’s favorite chocolate bar, the latest copy of a magazine they love, write cute love notes, a gift voucher for a store) and hide them all over your house or garden, then deliver your partner some clues to help them find everything.
Bonus points for theming it. For example, have them find everything they would need for a relaxing soak in a hot bath – salts, chilled music, a good book, a rubber duck, loose rose petals – and then leave them to it in the bathroom afterwards.
41. Camp in the Backyard
Sleep overnight in your backyard together. Beg, borrow or dig out your camping equipment, or create a magical makeshift tent with some old sheets and string. Light a drum fire, roast marshmallows, tell ghost stories and don’t go back inside if you can help it! Cook breakfast on the BBQ the next morning.
42. Loungeroom Floor Picnic
The dining table is overrated. Set up everything you need for a picnic in your very own living room one night for dinner with a twist. Pack it all into a basket, light some candles and kick off your shoes. Perfect for the colder months.
43. Relive Your First Date
Retrace your steps as a couple and recreate your very first date. Surprise your partner by whisking them back in time. What year was it? What music were you listening to (playlist) then? Did you pick them up or meet them there? Do you remember what you ordered? What you were wearing? What you talked about?
44. Pretend You’re Meeting for the First Time
Have your partner get dressed up and go to a bar alone. You’re going to meet them there, with a twist – pretend you’re meeting for the very first time. Be yourselves; or come up with entirely new personalities. Choose your own adventure. Maybe even go home with them that night…!
45. Get Super Dressed Up for Dinner
Whether it’s dinner at home or you make reservations for a fancy restaurant, break out of your usual routine by getting really dressed up for the occasion. If you possibly can, get ready at separate locations to help enhance the anticipation.
46. Dinner and Dancing
Do you love to dance? Indulge in one of the classic romantic date ideas with a dinner-and-dancing night. Find a good venue – jazz clubs are a great choice, or your local dance school may hold weekend social nights where everyone is invited to take the floor. Get all Fred and Ginger!
47. Check into a Hotel
Save up your pennies and spend a night at a hotel together for a change of scenery. You don’t have to stray too far from home. Order room service, don fluffy robes, have a drink in the hotel bar. It’s one fantasy night away from your everyday life.
48. Play Pool in a Seedy Pub
It doesn’t look like the makings of a passionate night at first glance, but actually this low-key date idea has so many opportunities for romance. Find a seedy pub and commandeer the pool table. Order some drinks and challenge each other to a few rounds of pool. Place saucy bets on the outcome. Not good at pool? No worries, have your sweetie show you exactly how to handle the cue. Put your favorite songs on the jukebox. Flirt outrageously.
49. Have Cocktails in a Gorgeous Bar
Find the fanciest bar in town and head there for some exotic cocktails. Take to a lounge in a dark corner or sit right at the bar for some interaction with the bartender.
50. Stage a Photoshoot
Make some new memories together – take a camera with a self-timer and a tripod, get yourselves dressed nice and have a little photoshoot together. Pick a garden, beach or urban location you like. Have other people snap you together too. Do a few selfies. Frame your favorites!
51. Sketch Each Other
Spend a night at home with a blank sketchpad and graphite pencils, sketching each other in the name of art. Even if you aren’t necessarily great at drawing, look up some tutorials online and give it a go! It can be abstract. It can be bad. If you’re feeling espeically frisky, get all Titanic and sketch each other naked.
52. Go Fruit Picking
A dreamy afternoon wandering fruit orchards in the dappled sunlight? Yes, please! Whatever the season, there will be fruit ripe for the picking somewhere. Many orchards will let you in to pick your own apples, strawberries, oranges. Once you’ve selected the ripest, juiciest fruits (and quite possibly fed a few to each other along the way) head home and whip them up into some sort of pie or dessert concoction.
It’s Official: Melt Massage for Couples Launches with Decadent Party
Well, it’s official. We launched this new little brand of ours called Melt in style last Wednesday night, holding a cocktail party as a thank you to our Pozible contributors and a way to introduce Melt to some of the media and bloggers from our local city.
It was an awesome party. We had the support of some amazing sponsors to make it happen, and the theme was decadence… as Style Melbourne so aptly put it in their write-up, we had “all the ingredients that make for a really good night in” – anyone that knows me knows I love exceptional food, wine and cocktails and a penchant for design and fashion. We made sure all these elements were included at the Melt launch party as a way to really spoil our guests.
There was the artisan cheese grazing table from Milk the Cow Licensed Fromagerie stocked with gooey, sumptuous European cheeses. Head Cheesemonger Laura Lown specifically chose cheeses to match the theme of our event, all pale whites to match our colour theme, and all deliciously indulgent, such as the triple cream Brillat Savarin, a gooey choice that fit our Melt namesake perfectly.
Milk the Cow Cheese Grazing Table at Melt Massage for Couples Launch
Branded wooden cheeseboards from Milk the Cow added to the gorgeous styling of the cheese grazing table.
Beautiful, sophisticated styling with mini soft-ripened cheeses, golden pears and fresh herbs from Milk the Cow.
Cheese grazing table by Milk the Cow Licensed Fromagerie
Gooey, melty Brillat Savarin triple cream brie from Milk the Cow Licensed Fromagerie
We had exceptionally decadent martinis made with Fire Drum Vodka, a local brand produced at Tasmania Distillery in Hobart. The Franklin Barley used in Fire Drum is sourced by an expert malter who travels Tasmania selecting only the finest barley. The secret to Fire Drum is the barley is brewed with Tasmanian water into a ‘wash’ which is then double distilled in a Copper Pot still – an age-old, minimalistic approach to distillation.
Fire Drum Vodka was used for our decadent cocktails at Melt Massage for Couples Launch
The best bits of the spirit run which is the most pure, malty and sweet, are then selected and used. The spirit is then gently filtered once through charcoal and blended with pure pristine Tasmanian water.
The result is a truly unique, expressive and smooth vodka. It is full-flavoured with a malty sweetness and it makes an excellent addition to cocktails.
Ben Luzz from Bar Ampere mixing the Melt Massage for Couples Launch cocktails
Ben Luzz from the renowned Bar Ampere came up with two amazing cocktails made with this vodka. The first was the Liquid Gold Melt Martini; a classic wet vodka martini garnished with a golden olive, hand-wrapped in edible gold leaf. It looked divine and tasted amazing too.
Our bespoke Liquid Gold Melt Martini created by Ben Luzz from Bar Ampere, using Fire Drum Vodka. That’s an olive hand-wrapped in edible gold leaf! Photo credit: Style Melbourne.
The other was The Last Bastian, a honeycomb and absinthe martini garnished with orange peel, incredible flavour especially with the notes of vanilla from the Fire Drum Vodka. It’s a beautiful product that, as Ben said, doesn’t require too much messing with, which is why he kept the cocktails simple to show it off.
The Last Bastian Fire Drum Vodka Martini by Ben Luzz from Bar Ampere with Housemade honeycomb syrup and absinthe. Photo credit: Style Melbourne
Of course, there were also some amazing wines flowing, you can’t celebrate without a few glasses of French bubbly after all! Even our mineral water was decadent, a locally sourced, fantastic water supplied by sponsor Capi. This is water that was voted the #1 Australian Mineral Water by Epicure in The Age (aka, our food and drink bible). I love their sleek glass bottles and the water tastes amazing – clean and crisp.
French bubbly at the ready for toasting at the Melt: Massage for Couples launch
I was set on a dessert grazing table so I made one myself – a candy buffet laden with childhood favourite treats like milk bottles, loads of white chocolate, fluffy marshmallows and delicious cupcakes from Joy Cupcakes – the lemon meringue was incredible, as was the Choc Marshmallow flavour. A big hit toward the end of the night after a couple of martinis!
Our Candy Buffet was the perfect dessert option.
Lemon Meringue and Choc Marshmallow Cupcakes thanks to Joy Cupcakes – delicious!
The space we held the party in was just beautiful – friend and sponsor JASONGRECH let us have his style studio for the night, a converted stable where he makes his couture bridal and red carpet gowns by hand. Jason made my wedding dress six years ago, we’ve been firm friends ever since. We were very lucky to have such a great venue made available to us, as he doesn’t do that very often at all. (He also helped style the candy buffet last minute along with our talented friend Mel, an interior designer… thanks to them both for making it look so amazing!)
The first few guests arrive to the Melt: Massage for Couples launch at the JASONGRECH Style Studio
Just warming up – a panorama of the gorgeous JASONGRECH Style Studio as the party begins.
We loved our pink carnival heart from Letter Lights as a fun photo booth area!
Co-founders who kiss! Bit of fun in the Pink Carnival Heart from Letter Lights.
Is three a crowd? Doesn’t look like it!
The look of love! Awesome Pozible supporters Cory & Paul.
Pink Carnival Heart from Letter Lights
But the very best thing about the Melt launch was being able to celebrate with all the people who have supported us and thank them from the bottom of our hearts.
Thanks to everyone who came to the Melt: Massage for Couples launch party and supported our crowdfunding campaign! We really couldn’t have done it without you. All images by Timson.
As Den said in his speech, 2013 was a really hard year for us. Our other business wasn’t going well, there was no money, we were living and working from a house that desperately needed renovating and we were having a really awful time of it. It was the toughest year we’ve had so far financially, as well as career-wise and then of course – ipso facto – for our marriage.
In November 2013, it all changed. We ran a crowdfunding campaign to get this business – Melt: Massage for Couples – off the ground. Getting successfully funded was our first win in a long time. Less than two months later, we were on a plane to LA to film the couples massage videos we’d been planning for so long. By March 2014, we were selling them online and as of a few months ago we have couples on every single continent (bar Antarctica) that are learning to massage using our product.
A little thank you speech.
What a turnaround, and what a difference a year makes. We’re so very grateful to everyone that helped get us out of that dark time and through to today. We quite literally couldn’t have done it without the support of a solid network. Which brings us full circle – last Wednesday night, we officially launched this new little brand of ours called Melt. And we couldn’t be happier. Now, we’re back to the task of reaching as many couples as possible right around the world!
Just try keeping the smiles off our face right now! Can’t happen.
Images graciously supplied by Timson Photography & Design.
The Most Important Massage Tip I’ll Ever Teach You
If you were to ask me “Steve, what is the secret to the perfect back rub?” My answer would be:
1. “Actually, my name is Denis.” and
2. “Contour your hands to your partner’s body.”
I’m an Australian massage therapist, and I specialise in teaching couples how to give amazing back rubs.
Over the last decade, I’ve taught over 20,000 couples in more than 50 countries using my methods how to give a great massage at home, so they can last longer than five minutes and not end up with sore hands at the end.
If I could give you only one tip to a better back rub, it would be contouring. This is the #1 technique couples should start with to make their hands feel more professional.
Check the GIF below out…
The MOST important massage tip I’ll ever teach you
Take a closer look at my hands in this clip – watch how they contour to my wife’s body… notice how relaxed she is… notice how each finger moulds to her curves, palms are down too.
Looks good, huh?
Best of all, this doesn’t hurt my hands, nor do my thumbs want to pop off and run away.
I could literally do this for hours without putting any stress on my hands and it feels simply amazing!
Most couples go in too deep, too early – making their back rubs feel amateurish. Worst of all, as soon as your hands begin to hurt, you give up and your partner has a very unsatisfying massage experience that lasts just a few minutes.
I want you to do it the way professional massage therapists do.
Always warm the muscles up first. I call this “romancing the body.”
The easiest way for you to do this, is… you guessed it! To contour your hands.
Start by moulding your hands to your partner’s body – follow along to how I do it in the GIF above.
Your goal is to see if we can relax our partner, make their shoulders drop and sink back into us. We need to start here before we can move on to teaching you knots and deep tissue work.
The single most important massage tip I’ll ever teach you. Mould your hands to your partner’s body: “Keep your palms down & fingertips down.”
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Why I Will Never Teach This Style of Massage
Every now and then I receive questions like this from a couple, asking for specialised tuition on how to treat their partner at home.
It’s important that we understand the roles that we play with our partner when massaging. The most important distinction to make is that your partner is not your massage therapist, nor should you be theirs.
Registered massage therapists, even at entry-level, spend many, many, many hours over months and years learning their craft.
And massage school isn’t even the important part. What makes a good practitioner is the hours of practice they put in after their schooling is over.
When I finished massage school back in the year 2000, I took every chance to get my hands on everyone I knew. When I wasn’t treating at the clinic, I was giving away free massages to anyone who i could get my hands on. The complicated the presenting condition was, the higher I would jump to get a chance to see if I could rectify the issue.
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My girlfriend (back then), who was also a massage therapist, and I would spend hours every day, month after month working on each other’s muscles, going through the process of clinical assessments, mapping out muscles and perfecting our techniques.
Do you see what I’m trying to say? Massage for me was not a hobby – I took it very seriously. If you want to treat your partner as a massage therapist, you need to do the education first and then most importantly spend the hours practicing, preferably on as many different people as possible to build your experience!
A two-hour workshop with me will never get you to this level. I do not teach people how to become massage therapists. I teach couples how to massage each other.
My goal is to teach couples how to give a massage, within their existing relationship. I teach people to massage the way they would at home for closeness, intimacy and a deeper connection. This is a world away from the way a massage therapist treats you on a massage table. They are two separate concepts.
My techniques are not designed to teach you to “fix” your partner or treat specific problems; they are created to make your partner fall in love with your hands, to have them say “mmm” and “ahh” and so you can give them an experience unlike any you’ve had before. Most importantly, Melt is for healthy bodies.
When my wife Emma first massaged me using the techniques I had written, I was blown away. In all my years of professional massaging, I’d never had a massage like that before. It wasn’t about the techniques, or having her be perfect at the massage she was giving me… it was about a shared experience, a deeper connection.
Don’t try to be something that you’re not, and don’t expect your partner to suddenly be a massage guru. It will only result in disappointment. If your partner has a specific muscular complaint that you don’t know how to deal with, or a recent injury, or chronic pain, or wants a lymphatic drainage massage, I recommend you book them in to see a reputable, registered massage therapist. This simple act of kindness will be enough to blow your partner away.
5 Unbelievable Ways Learning How to Massage Will Make You a Better Lover
It’s no coincidence that most people raise their eyebrows at us when we tell them we teach couples how to massage each other. The mere thought of all that oil, flesh and rubbing… it’s inherently sexy, no?
While Den and I consciously and deliberately make sure our products and our seminars are clean, sophisticated and massage-focused, it’s also hard to ignore the fact that massage is a whole heap of hot when it’s done effectively between two people who are attracted to one another.
We’ve always said we just provide the massage toolkit, what happens later behind closed doors is completely up to you.
Think I’m joking? I’d never kid about being better in bed. In fact, when we surveyed our live course participants a few years back, 50% of them agreed that learning how to massage had improved their sex lives!(We can only assume that the other half already had it going on when it came to the boudoir!)
Here are five ways the skills you develop when learning how to massage can crossover into your boudoir:
The Art of the Tease
Whether it’s a professional massage between a therapist and patient or a romantic massage between a couple, the concept here is the same: when you’re massaging, you want to take your massagee on a journey.
Much of any massage is made up of repetition. We repeat strokes again and again to lull people into a comfortable, relaxed state. The best part about this repetition? Anticipation, baby.
Consider this: You’re nailing an awesome massage stroke, hitting just the right sore spots in your partner’s shoulders as you go… You hear your partner moan just a little bit when you work on that spot you know is there. Instead of going hammer-and-tong on the sore bit (no pinchy-pinchy, people!), you carefully note where it is and leisurely take your time coming back to it.
Right this second, your partner is thinking “… Do you think he’s going to hit that spot again? I think he is… yep, I’m pretty sure he’s going to do – Ohhhhhh wowwwwww (cue drooling).”
Learn the art of the tease in your massage and you’ll have a captivated audience for life. Apply the same art of the tease to your seduction in the bedroom and watch your partner melt happily into a pile of blissed-out goo.
Rhythm and Flow
The best massage therapists add a natural rhythm and flow to their massage routines. These two crucial elements help relax your massagee with gentle rocking, swaying and no unexpected surprises.
When we say flow, we mean each stroke should fluidly merge into the next one, flowing in an unbroken dance over the skin. The best way to do this is to make sure each of your massage techniques can link to the next seamlessly, and to make sure you finish every stroke right to the end.
When we say rhythm, we mean building up a repetitive and comforting rhythm to add interest. If we think of the rhythm just like music, you don’t have to do your entire massage to a 4/4 beat. You can change the rhythm, add a highlight every few “bars” or so. The easiest way to introduce rhythm to your massage is to work with the music you have on in the background.
And when it comes to lovemaking? Well, I shouldn’t have to tell you that getting a good rhythm and flow between the sheets is infinitely preferable to random thrusting. Learn to use your body in a sensual and rhythmical way to really up the ante with your lover.
Get in Tune with Your Partner
One of the most important parts of learning how to massage is listening for feedback cues to see if you’re doing it right. This is especially crucial when you first start out learning to massage, so that you can keep becoming better.
What you want to look for are both verbal and non-verbal cues from your partner that you’re hitting the right spots. Because you’re usually sitting behind them to massage, you can’t read the facial expressions you usually would.
On the other hand, hunched shoulders, pulling away and your partner sitting up straight as a pole while you massage should be cues that you’re not quite hitting the mark.
Learning to read your partner’s body like this has many benefits in the bedroom as well, before long you’ll instinctively know exactly what your sweetie is thinking without having to ask.
Ambiance, Ambiance, Ambiance
We’ve tried massaging under fluorescent lights. In cold rooms. On hard floorboards with no rug. With the TV on. None of it is good.
Spend some time perfecting your ambiant mood-setting techniques and you can turn an entire night around with the flick of a light switch. For a massage, for love… for whatever you like.
The Ultimate Pre-Foreplay Foreplay
Foreplay is the perfect way to take any lovemaking session from good to great. It’s fun, you can play and experiment, it stretches out the whole encounter to make it a truly delicious experience. After all, the actual sex part usually lasts an average of 5 minutes (true fact) so anything we can do to draw that out is a Very Good Thing.
Consider massage as your pre-foreplay foreplay. It will help get you in the mood for the foreplay that will get you in the mood for sex. It will extend your seduction by another forty-five minutes, done right.
Your massage might not always lead to sex – of course, you need to respect your partner’s feelings on this. But if the lag between the pre-foreplay foreplay and the actual foreplay is a few weeks, the effects won’t wane in between. It will only serve to build more anticipation for your future bedroom frolic.
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Your Complete Checklist for a Romantic Massage at Home
Here’s a little secret for you: you don’t have to be great at massage to give your partner an amazing, romantic massage experience.
Ideally, by the time you get your hands on your partner, they should already be bowled over by your efforts to connect and make them melt. It’s easy to make this happen…
Here’s some ideas you can do to make your massage experience unlike anything anyone has even created for your partner before:
The Ambiance
Soft music, flickering candles and even some seductive foods make for the perfect setting.
The Massage Equipment
It’s important to have everything you need to massage your partner close by. The best massages are ones that flow, from beginning to end, without distractitions. Once your hands touch your partner aim to keep your hands on them until the massage ends. Make your partner the most important person in the world to you at that moment.
The Romantic Massage Optional Extras
If you want to take your romantic massage night up a notch, here are some decadent additions you can consider for an ultimate seduction.
On the night, draw your partner a relaxing bath (assuming your place has a bathtub – if not skip this paragraph). Set up the bathroom with candles and music, perhaps hand them a cup of tea or a glass of wine on their way into the bathroom, let them know you’d like them to relax and you’ll be back to get them in a little while.
As they’re soaking in the tub, you’ll set up your massage space using the checklist above. Then, head back to the bathroom with blindfold in hand. Collect your partner and have them leave their towel on, or pop on a robe.
Slip the blindfold around their eyes and carefully lead them to the massage space. Settle them in their spot, hand them a glass of wine while you get yourself set up.
Settle in behind, hands on their shoulders and gently annouce they’re about to receive a massage. Follow-along to one of our curated massage routines. Ideally, you will have already practiced the techniques ahead of time with your partner. This is just taking your practical knowledge from good to amazing, knee-weakening, classic romance.
And watch them Melt in your hands…
Common Things That Ruin A Massage
Watch out for these.