FAQ

When Not To Massage

There are many reasons why you shouldn’t massage your partner. If you are NOT SURE whether your partner is fit enough to be massaged by you, then DON’T. For example: If your partner complains that their back is sore after lifting something heavy, then don’t massage them.

The following are contraindicated to massage, do not massage your partner if they have:

  • Inflammation
  • Skin rash
  • Pregnancy
  • Injury
  • Diabetes
  • Haemophilia
  • Skin Infections
  • Blood Clots
  • Cancer
  • Cardiac Conditions
  • Varicose Veins

3. Which Oils To Use

Base Oils, also known as carrier oils such as Sweet Almond Oil, Apricot Oil or Grape Seed Oil are examples of what Massage Therapists use during their treatments. There plenty of oils that can be used as base oil although the most commonly used is Sweet Almond Oil. It can be purchased at any health food store quite cheaply. You’ll also find these oils at amazon.com as well as beauty shops like the Body Shop.

  • Sweet Almond Oil
  • Apricot oil
  • Grape Seed Oil
  • Purchase at Health Food Store

You can choose to create a blend by adding essential oils to your base oil. Or purchase a pre-mixed blends. A blend consists of mainly base oil, with only a few drops of essential oils. Approx a ratio of 2 to 3 drops per 250ml (8fl. oz) of base oil. Essential oils are not necessary. In fact, in private practice I choose to only use a base oil as people may have allergies to essential oils or not enjoy the aroma.

If you wish to experiment with blends, I recommend doing research via the internet before you begin.

Why The Floor And Not The Bed

The most common surprise couples get from my courses is that we massage sitting up. Not lying down and definitely not on the bed!

  • The bed is uncomfortable for both you and your partner.
  • To massage you’ll need to sit on the bed and hunch over. Within minutes this position will become uncomfortable, your back, shoulders and arms will hurt.
  • When lying on the bed your partner will need to turn their head to one side shutting down all the magical spots in the neck that feel so good when massaged. (A massage pro uses a table with a face hole in it to combat this problem)
  • The bed is so not sexy! To make your massage sexy you need to get close to your partner… let me tell you how I do it – it’s totally sexy!

Sitting up is by far the BEST way to massage your partner at home. Remember that scene from Ghost, with Patrick Swazy and Demi Moore… you know where Demi is working with pottery and Patrick sits behind her, then things get hot and heavy – this is exactly what we want!

  • Have your partner sit on the floor – NOT the bed! Make sure they sit in a cross legged position.
  • Kneel behind them with legs wrapped around their thighs. You will definitely need a lot of pillows under your butt to keep you up high and take the pressure off your knees.
  • From this position you’ll have FULL access to your partner’s neck, back, shoulders and arms.

Why Sitting up on the Floor Works BEST!

  • You have full access to all those amazing spots in your partner’s neck and shoulders – those spots that feel so good when massaged!
  • Your entire massage will be much sexier as you can press up against your partner’s back, they’ll feel you breathing on the neck and you’ll have complete access to the front of their body too.
  • Your partner wont crank their neck when lying down.
  • They’ll even be able to interact with you, as the massage gets hotter they’ll be able to use their hands to play with your thighs and legs.
  • You’ll last longer in this position because you have better posture.

We massage on the floor because we need a hard surface to sit on. A bed creates an un-even surface causing your body to work overtime to stabilize itself – you’ll get tired and sore fast, taking ALL the fun out of play time. The bed is made for you to lie down in, not to sit up or kneel on. Trust me on this; I’ve practiced massaging my partner in ALL positions to find you the best place to make your partner melt!

How To Make Your Room Sexy

  • By far, the sexiest thing about a room is cleanliness. Make sure the room you massage in is clean and tidy.
  • Because you are massaging on the floor, ensure the carpet is vacuumed or the rug that you’re sitting on is vacuumed.
  • Dim the lights or turn them off all together.
  • Light candles. Small tea light candles can be purchased in packs of 100’s or more for very cheap.
  • Music is great to set the scene – play your partner’s favourite music, not yours. Even better if you both love the same album.
  • Keep the room warm as your partner won’t be wearing much.
  • Your hands must be warm – nothing worse than cold hands. You can easily warm hands under warm water.
  • Use a sweet smell like vanilla candles to add to the sensory experience. Aromatherapy kits also work well.
  • Turn phones off.
  • Lock the doors – nothing worse than interruptions.

How To Make My Massage Sexy?

  • I like to tease my partner, when I know that I’ve found a spot on their body that they like massaged I’ll pay it attention and once they start to really ooh and ahh then I’ll shy away to another location, then come back till they ooh and ahh again, this time staying a little longer. Keep playing this cat and mouse game until they really want you! Tease them!
  • I use the tease technique when massaging the chest. The chest is a sensitive area to massage on both guys and girls. Tact is needed. Breast massage is highly therapeutic and I cannot recommend it enough. Massage around the breasts in a circular or figure 8 fashion rather than going directly over the breast, move slowly and flow with your massage stroke. Preference is made to flowing around the breast as opposed to directly over and to the breast.
  • Both guys and girls, take your time before you make it over to the chest. It is a sensitive area and will produce brilliant results! Make sure you’ve spent at least 20 minutes working the other areas of the body before you approach the chest.
  • Tease by making your way towards the chest, then shy away and go back to massaging the neck or shoulders, then down towards the chest again, this time a little further down then back up to shoulders. Keep this teasing going on for a little before you place your full attention on the chest..
  • Build anticipation, your partner will be waiting in anticipation for you to finally make your way and completely cover the chest with your hands. And when you do it’ll make them feel oh so amazing!

Practicing – The 5 Minute Rule

I love the 5 minute rule! Love it, love it, love it!

  • You practice one technique for a maximum of 5 minutes, and then swap over. It doesn’t matter if you got it or not – still swap over.
  • Continue swapping over and working on the same technique until you both feel that you’ve got it. You may work the same technique 6 times over – maybe more, but each 5 minute session will make you better.
  • It’s just as important to feel the technique as it is to practice the technique. Each time your partner massages you, you’ll notice what feels good and what doesn’t. Then when it’s your turn try to copy the same techniques that felt good to you. Together you’ll naturally nut out your very own technique! It’s better than any video instruction or teacher can give you!
  • The 5 minute technique makes practicing fun. Things move so fast that you cannot wait to get your hands on your partner and make your massage better. Best of all, you know that they’ll be working on you in less than 5 minutes. You’ll have worked out the techniques in no time.

How Deep Can I Actually Go?

Surprisingly, on a healthy body you can go quite deep. Some people like it very deep and other prefer a lighter massage. What does your partner like?

  • The easiest way to find out what depth and pressure your partner likes is to ask them.
  • Always start your massage light and progressively work deeper. As you go deeper ask your partner if the pressure should be more or less (is this pressure too much? Or would you like it even deeper?)
  • When you go deep there is potential of bruising the muscle. If the muscle is bruised your partner will feel it for several days later.
  • Don’t ever go in deep right away. Even if your partner loves deep tissue massage. It just doesn’t work! Take your time, romance your partner with some awesome long relaxation strokes and progressively work your way deeper. It’ll make their body more relaxed; you’ll be able to reach the deeper tissues using less effort. If you go in hard right away your partners body will tense up making it harder for you to massage.