‘Just massage? You just teach massage?’ Yes, that’s what Den and I do. I know, it seems improbable that two people can make a living off teaching massage to couples, but that’s our full time work now. And we wouldn’t have it any other way. But we don’t think of it as ‘just massage’ (as […]
There are so many simple, practical things you can do in your relationship to make it happier, starting today.
‘Just massage? You just teach massage?’
Yes, that’s what Den and I do.
I know, it seems improbable that two people can make a living off teaching massage to couples, but that’s our full time work now. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
But we don’t think of it as ‘just massage’ (as a lot of people like to call it).
For us, it actually stretches much farther than that. It means so much more.
Denis and I have worked with couples, in all different capacities, for most of our collective careers now.
Before Melt, we conducted live massage seminars every month as a side business for eight years.
We created a website full of date ideas and relationship advice for couples. I had a national relationships and dating column in a newspaper for three years. We have both written and researched pages and pages of content on the subjects of love and relationships over the years.
Being a couple ourselves (for a decade now!), and knowing the sheer intensity of what goes into sustaining a happy, healthy relationship, we have long been drawn to the idea of helping couples do this.
Den and I are not high-level academics. We don’t have PhDs in psychology and we aren’t science-based research experts.
So, we use the talents we have not to help create groundbreaking studies or counsel marriages back from the brink of divorce, but to help decipher some of the better information out there and – here’s the part that is really important to us – use that research to come up with some practical, helpful tools couples could actually put to use in their everyday lives, to help them take advantage of and put into practice relationship findings from some of the greatest minds in the field of love.
Take $30 Date Night, our date ideas website. It was originally based on research from Arthur P. Aron of the University of Stonybrook in New York.
Aron found that novelty plays an important part in satisfaction levels of couples, and he recommended a regular date night doing new things each time to keep the flames alive.
We thought that sounded like a great idea, so we rallied. We came up with a huge collection of hundreds of date ideas – easy, fun, novel, cheap dates that couples could access when they wanted a boost for their relationship. Practical stuff. Useful stuff.
It worked for us, so we wanted to share it. We put it on the Internet. And we were rapt when we saw it working for other people too.
$30 Date Night provided a small, practical but not to be underestimated solution for an everyday relationship issue – How to get closer. How to stay connected. How to make time for one another in a busy world.
We look at Melt much in the same way, an extension of the same work.
There are scores of studies about the benefits of cuddling for couples, of non-sexual touch and it’s importance in relationships, of how massage between couples can boost trust and intimacy, of how gentle touch with no direct eye contact can help open channels of communication and of how some of the happiest, most long-lasting couples make back rubs a part of their regular routine.
Not to mention the proven health benefits of massage that have been long known in the medical and wellness community.
So it’s not “just massage” that we offer couples. We believe it runs way deeper than that. Massage offers a path to deeper intimacy, stronger trust and a more satisfying relationship.
Being able to massage your partner is a kind, generous act that speaks to every Love Language and shows how much you care.
Den and I see our chance at being able to offer that to couples as one of our most important projects to date. Backed by research. And it’s making a difference – a real difference – to people’s lives all over the globe, one couple at a time.
And that’s way more than “just a massage”.
Romance is one of those things we all wish we had a little more of in our lives. Often, we make the mistake of thinking that romantic gestures need to be big, grand, sweeping statements bursting with red roses and violins. They don’t. Incorporate some romance into your lives with these simple romantic ideas that will make your lover swoon.
It’s no secret that at Melt, we think back rubs are the bomb. A recent study entitled The Normal Bar found that there was one surprising thing ‘extremely happy’ couples had in common – 74% of them gave each other back massages! Yes, even we were pleasantly surprised by these findings!
As it turns out, the kind of attention you lavish on each other during a back rub can be a crucial ingredient for a fantastic relationship. Get more massages from your partner by learning how to rub them the right way. The more massages, the happier the couple. It’s practically guaranteed.
Massage increases your intimacy and trust, is a fantastic way to get closer together and show your partner some appreciation and you can make it a very romantic evening or just a bit of chilled out fun, depending on how you play it!
This is super important. It doesn’t have to be the holiday of a lifetime. Plan ahead and aim for a relaxed, romantic weekend getaway. Budget, say, $300. If you start now and put away $25 per week, you’ll be set to go in just a few months’ time!
Do the fun work now of deciding where you’d like to escape to with your sweetie. A city getaway in a nice hotel room? A remote log cabin in the woods? A beachside B&B? Pick somewhere that excites you both, so you have something to look forward to.
If you know your partner well and you think you can nail it without their input, keeping something like this a surprise is another way to make a big impact that they’ll love! Give them some anticipation by dropping hints a few weeks out and teasing them with information. They’ll be blown away.
Something magical happens when you try new experiences together. It reignites the same chemistry as when you first started dating. And the feeling is even more heightened when there’s an element of anticipation, exploration, learning, fascination or achievement. When it comes to a date night, try organising something unusual and completely out of character for the two of you.
For something completely different try one of these date ideas:
Once you’ve realised how much fun it is, consider scheduling a regular date night in 2015. Date nights are such a treat for any couple. One that your relationship deserves!
Decide that from now on, regular date nights will be part of your lifestyle as a couple. Pick a day either every month, fortnight or week. Set a firm date ahead of time – is it the last Friday of every month? Is it every Wednesday? Is it every odd Saturday night?
Once decided, put it in your calendar for the rest of the year – now. With reminders and alerts. Scheduling it ahead of time is key. You now have a year of date nights locked in, and they are now an utmost priority.
Other things may come up to clash with your date night – do you really need to go to them? Really, really? If so, politely inform your partner as early as possible and reschedule them immediately to another suitable night. Both prioritizing your date nights and treating them like an important event on the calendar signals to your partner that they are important to you, and that you will make time in your schedule to honor them.
This is great for your relationship – and your life! I did a year of this once and I had such adventures! I learned to ride a motorcycle, I took spontaneous road trips, I flew in a hot air balloon… take this further and make an effort to say ‘yes!’ to your partner more often and watch your relationship blossom.
When your partner makes a proposition, an offer or a suggestion, just say yes. Don’t criticise. Don’t tell them it’s a silly idea. Don’t pout. Just say yes!
As a couple, when other people invite you places, just say yes! If you both have a sudden brainwave to go away take an epic holiday or drive all night until you get to Disneyland – say ‘yes!’ and jump in with two feet!
Life is so much better with more ‘yes!’ in it. You open yourself to more energy and momentum. More things get done. Fun things!
Passionate kissing often falls by the wayside in longterm relationships. But it has a host of health benefits, as well as the added advantage of keeping you more connected to your partner. Some studies have found that it’s the frequency of kissing, rather than the frequency of sex, that is an excellent indicator to relationship security. It’s just something happy couples do a lot of.
10 seconds is a good benchmark to start you off – this ensures you’re not just giving each other chaste pecks. If you have to get to your 10 second time limit, you’ll probably get a bit creative with your kisses.
You might have to start with timed 10 second (or so) kisses, but soon enough – if you make it a habit – it will feel very natural and spontaneous for you to indulge in a bit of a hallway makeout session together whenever the mood takes you.
It’s Not “Just Massage”… Here’s Why.
‘Just massage? You just teach massage?’ Yes, that’s what Den and I do. I know, it seems improbable that two people can make a living off teaching massage to couples, but that’s our full time work now. And we wouldn’t have it any other way. But we don’t think of it as ‘just massage’ (as […]
5 Simple Romantic Ideas for Your Relationship (Start Now)
There are so many simple, practical things you can do in your relationship to make it happier, starting today.